KISS - Destroyer

Now I am fully aware that these days, with cheesy charts songs completely eradicated, KISS are widely hated for their incredible corniness and Gene Simmons acting as if he is the sexiest person in the world despite him being old and Jewish (OOHHH RACISM shut up). And, despite me being a big KISS fan, I would really understand someone hating them if they only heard this album. It is a pile of monkey balls.

You could accuse me of hating things that were only normal for the time, and I suppose you would be right and people didn't really cringe at this stuff in the 70s, but to be honest I've heard SO many other things from the 70s that isn't such... shit. I don't mind the song 'God of Thunder', and I actually like 'Detroit Rock City'. But every other song just ends up being nauseatingly soppy and lame. I mean just listen to 'Great Expectations' and tell me you haven't heard such awful lyrics, painful lack of riffage and dreadful use of a tambourine. Yeah, they murder that tambourine. I don't know how 'Beth' ended up being a popular track, I can't describe it better than celebrated nihilism, and for those who don't know what that means, just don't bother listening. You're better off without.

The strange thing is, I actually love a majority of their stuff. The rest is still cheesy, but it rings off nicely with a good retro vibe and has great solos and riffs. They're known to be a great live band and I have 'ALIVE III' (strangely enough they only play ONE song from this album) and it's great. But this is just a letdown and only makes you embarassed to like the band.

I was drawn into buying this album by HMV calling it one of the 'Hundred Albums to Listen to Before You Die'. I would describe it better as an album to HELP you die.

Darkest Hour - Deliver Us

Darkest Hour are a melodic metalcore band (similar to “As I Lay Dying”) and to be quite honest, Henry couldn't of put it any better when he said “So basically, this is awesome”. I've come across a lot of albums, some of which I've found absolutely amazing, but in the end (If you just thought about Linkin Park, shoot yourself), they just bore me after about 3 days. This is such an exception it's unbelievable. I've had this album for almost 2 years now. And it never ceases to strike me as absolutely AMAZING.

Well why is it so amazing? Because the chorus' are fucking catchy and epic, beyond human belief, I mean, I guess I'll state all the songs on it that have awesome chorus'. “Doomsayer”; “Demon”, “A Paradox With Flies”, “An Ethereal Drain”, “Tunguska”, “Fire in the Skies”, “Deliver Us” and “Sanctuary” (although the 'chorus' in Sanctuary is sort of only played once). That leaves 3 songs on the album I haven't mentioned. One is an Interlude, so obviously doesn't have a chorus (but don't worry, the interlude is VERY epic), the other 2 are simply a bit more aggressive songs, and don't really have chorus', although still good songs, they do fall short of the rest of the album, very good instrumentals though (and that's coming from me, the guy who knows NOTHING about instrumentals). But if you don't think the epic chorus' are enough, the harsh vocals are also pretty insane, along with the...clean(er) vocals. Whole album is very dynamic the whole way through, and getting bored while listening to this is just...not possible.

There's really not much else to say really, coming across an album this good is a very rare thing, and I doubt it will happen again any time soon. I actually love this album so much, I feel like naming like naming it the best album of all time....but I'm not going to. Should you buy this album? FUCK YES. It's so worth the money, whether you're into death metal, nu metal, WHATEVER, you don't get much better than this. So buy it. NOW.

Converge - No Heroes

Like all of Converge's albums I've found this to be extremely under rated, however, this one in particular. It's gotten shit from a lot of people, typical emo fags, typical people fags, and strangely enough, a lot of metal heads. They consider it to merely be noise. That, however, is BULLSHIT. Although a few more songs are lot more hectic then even usual Converge, you do get calm moments, and very catchy bits. After all, that is the whole point of mathcore. A very good example of this would be the song “No Heroes”. Having been on Youtube and seen the comments I found on the music video, I can tell you it's depressing how many musically ignorant people there are in the world. But still the song, upon my first listening it was actually kind of boring...it was just kind of...mediocre. BUT, having listened to the whole thing through a couple more times, I can safely say, it's an AMAZING song.

Still taking an even more mathcore based approach to their music, their song lengths range from 58 seconds to 9 minutes and 34 seconds, just as mathcore should be. The short songs are usually the more chaotic songs, while the long songs are a bit repetitive (listen to “Plagues”) however amongst the repetitiveness there's usually some FUCKING EPIC bit. Some people also thought they would hear Jacob Bannon's (lead vocalist) clean vocals again, as they did in Jane Doe. Well. THEY WERE MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT. Personally I think that's a good thing, as it made some songs feel a bit daunting and weirder. However, there's a large chance you wouldn't like his clean vocals, they are a bit....unique after all. However, you may notice a difference in the song “Grim Heart/Black Rose” in the vocals...well that's because they got a guest singer, Jonah Jenkins (the vocalist from the band “Only Living Witness”). Still, the screaming is as good as ever, Jacob Bannon's impossibly monstrous voice has definitely managed to stand the test of that dick, time.

This album is a lot heavier, yet also a lot softer then previous albums (if that makes sense to you), so i'm really quite interested to see which direction they take with their next album. Whether you should buy this or not, is quite an easy question. Although yes, this is DEFINITLY A FUCKING AWESOME ALBUM, it is a very acquired taste, and the likes of mere mortals (people into softer metal, such as Metallica) shouldn't bother, however those who like mathcore, extreme hardcore, or someone who's simply looking for a crazy new album, are definitely in the right place.

Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

Like it or not, Maiden MADE 80s metal. Yes, there was Black Sabbath and Judas Priest that were around and indeed they did inspire Maiden to make what they did/do, but it was Iron Maiden that really hit big and started 'heavy metal', rather than just heavier rock. The two albums preceding the Number of the Beast were both with former singer Paul Di'anno who was good, but didn't have any epic factor to his voice, and he was a druggy anyway. So when Bruce joined in '83 and made Number, things really started getting good.

Three Maiden classics are spawned on this album, the incredibly well-known 'Run to the Hills', the title track 'Number of the Beast' and one of Maiden's best live songs 'Hallowed Be Thy Name'. Not all that surprising that they were accused of being Satanists, really. There probably isn't a single metalhead who hasn't at least heard of Iron Maiden and for the most part, this is the reason. At this point in their career Dave and Adrian were the guitarists, and their harmonic solos and alternating riffs make every song catchy, rememberable and of course air guitar-able. Apart from the three classics, my favourite song would have to be 'The Prisoner', mainly for its awesome chorus, but the riff is pretty sweet as well, and I always find myself skipping straight to this track every time I listen to this album. 'Epic metal' is a term that is often used to describe Maiden's style, and if you listen to 'Children of the Damned', you will see why. I could go on and praise every song on the album in it's own way; each song is unique and is just so good.

One of the best albums ever? Yes. Well, in that case not much to criticise, but I think 'Gangland', which is only available on the remastered edition, could have been a little more fast-paced and exciting, but still is sufficiantly epic and doesn't realy weigh the album down. But that's about it, I just can't say anything bad about Number, it's too good I think.

If you're either a heavy metal maniac or just someone searching for classic albums and for some reason you don't have this album, you suck. It's the true roots of Heavy Metal and even today its greatness is recognisable. Buy it, buy it now.

End of Green - Last Night on Earth

My music taste in general is usually either metal of all eras, or 80s rock, without much middle ground. Modern rock DEFINITELY doesn't appeal to me on the wide scale, but there's something about goth rock band End of Green that I actually like. Nowhere near to say that they are one of my favourite bands, nor that this album is one of the best ever, definitely not. But amidst the dreary chord patterns, the depressing themes and drony vocals (WOAH ALLITERATION) End of Green have something to show.

One thing not to look for in Last Night on Earth however: EXCITEMENT. This is NOT an album you can lie down and listen to and pay full attention to, as if you did you would get EXTREMELY bored. Now I'M AWARE OF ALL THE CAPS I'M USING TODAY. The point about goth rock is that it isn't really stimulating, but can act as good background noise, whatever you're doing. So, if you were in a plain white room with no furniture listening to the 9-minute 'Queen of all My Dreams' or the 11-minute 'Empitness/Lost Control' you would probably want to commit suicide, but if you were doing something productive at the same time it's great. What I really like about the band is the vocalist, his whining isn't annoying like Muse (personal opinion), instead it portrays emotion very effectively and does draw you in. 'Tormented Sundown' is probably the ideal track for showing this.

Liveliness picks up with punky 'Highway 69', but the majority of the album focuses on either deathly or spooky styles. Unfortunately, this sort of stuff is absolute bait for cocks to call us 'emos' for listening to it and asking us why we're not cutting our wrists and summoning Satan. Though, I would like to see more creativity in what they're listening to, Kaiser Chiefs I'm afraid do not make the cut. Anyway, End of Green don't hugely stand out in today's scene, but they're good. Not fantastic, but a good band, worth a listen three or four times maybe, but perhaps not worth you cash unless you're a real goth fan.

Faithful Darkness - In Shadow Lies Utopia

In all honesty, Soilwork really don't appeal to me much. I see them as a good band, but it is mainly the vocals that put me off, and it is thankfully for me that in the drummer's new band, Faithful Darkness, where this is all turned around. In addition to this, their debut album 'In Shadow Lies Utopia' is one of the best metal albums I've ever heard, but that's a minor detail.

What I find truly makes an epic album is interludes, whether they be classical or of a softer nature, such as in Deadlock's 'Wolves' or Trivium's 'Ascendancy'. Somehow, Faithful Darkness pulls off an astonishing album with no interludes or many progressive techniques in sight. However, melody plays a huge part and indeed it is what I believe is the essence of why I love it. 'Pure Silence' has very soft vocals during the chorus, and once you've got over the same feeling I had of it (LAME) and realised it's actually pretty awesome, you understand how much Faithful Darkness have actually put into this set. Although 'Pure Silence' is pretty much the leading track, two others, 'Alive' and 'Believer' are also sweet songs with some of the best choruses I've EVER heard. Every song on the album I find to be re-listenable to the point of death, maybe making an exception to 'Fields of Yesterday', which I find too thrashy, but will apply more to others' taste. Another track that stands out to me is 'Afterlife', which sounds incredibly like Bodom, give it a listen and you'll see what I mean. The guitar parts, despite not being as positively noticeable as the vocals, are still excellent, with great ripping solos and harsh, thudding riffs.

I can't really find many bad points with this album, only maybe they could have chosen a better opening track, as the opener is often the most important. Not to say that 'Stay Awake' is a bad song, though, it still keeps great standard. All in all a fantastic album, and like I said about Sacrament, keeping modern metal alive and is one of the best metal albums ever I believe.

Dragonforce - Valley of the Damned

Ergh. I grow increasingly tired of Dragonforce these days, now that I actually know more than two things about how good music is made. I have learnt that decent metal/rock is NOT measured by how quickly and stupidly its guitarists can play. Their 'epic' theme is also a bit dry, partly cos no one gives a crap about the lyrics, and partly because they're grown men. Herman Li continues his tiresome spree of hitting 5 notes as quickly as possible to make 11 year olds say 'Wow! This is the best band ever! How come not everyone listens to them?' No, Herman Li is not a guitar hero, which is ironic seeing as Through the Fire and Flames is on the third game. He just knows a few scales, puts them at a really high note and taps them as quickly as his fingers can move. Sam, the other guitarist, sucks more, with his solos which are actually worse than Herman's. They also both are notorious for sitting down AND missing every second note at their live shows.

Yes, Dragonforce are original. But that's only because every other band know that where they're going is meant to be a no-go area, parading around with the illusion of talent. It is a shame indeed that the singer has the ability to hit extremely impressively high notes, but just ends up annoying me with the songs they make. The song to name and shame this album with is Starfire, which is cheesy without being funny. Too cheesy. In fact, it's more cheesy than a Chuck Norris film with melted Brie, Wendsleydale and Edam being spread on top. The only song I could find mildly enjoyable was Disciples of Babylon, as jazz, classical and funk styles are all used for quite a good sounding cocktail. Every other song sounded the same. Unfortunately, in this case, the same means' ALL SHIT'.

So I said it. Herman Li is talentless. It's true. Talent involves decent music writing with the inclusion of more than a couple of notes being played at a supersonic speed. This album only exhibits this further. Don't buy it. If you're going to praise it at all, let it be for the artwork.

Illdisposed - Burn Me Wicked

Whilst Illdisposed certainly give themselves the image of YET another obscure, boringly written and badly recorded foreign death metal band, I was very much surprised to find a definite oasis of talent in the arid desert of irritatingly lame copies of Cannibal Corpse by listening to this album. It also surprised me how much they actually sounded like ordinary death metal, but remained catchy, air-guitarable and in some places pretty epic.

It took me a while before I could actually be bothered to listen to this in depth, but once I had I did notice the metal-making talent that Illdisposed, in particular the lead guitarist, have. Admittedly the opening track, 'Shine Crazy' was more of a deterrent than a song to get me into them, as it was extremely repetitive and quite frankly boring as anything. It is one of the worst songs on the album and so as a message to anyone who wants to give Illdisposed a go, don't let this put you off. The songs that really stand out to me were without a doubt the title track 'Burn Me Wicked' with its epic chorus and solo, 'Case of the Late Pig' which, ignoring the retarded name, had a great catchy riff and good use of electronic sounds, and 'Nothing to Fear... Do It', the high pitched wailing and slamming background riffs of which reminded me much of Maiden. The last track, 'Illdispunk'd' is a piss-take song which is just about travelling to your local area, becoming intoxicated with alcoholic substances and recieving fellatio from your sister. It's a good laugh, using punk style riffs and giving the impression of a fun-loving metal band in the same way that Bodom do.

This album is undoubtedly a good listen, it has pretty brutal vocals, (listen to 'Our Heroin Recess') and pretty sweet guitar parts all round. A few tracks are pretty annoying, but I think the rest make up for it. Worth your money? Depends what you're into; if you're a purist death metaller, yes. If you're like me and can only stand death metal in smaller doses, perhaps not. Nevertheless, claps for Illdisposed for a nicey made set of tracks.

Foo Fighters - The Colour And The Shape

Now it's almost my duty as a metal head to proclaim this to be a boiling piece of SHIT. However. I LIKE this shit. I'm not gonna bother giving a big explanation on who Foo Fighters are, as I'm sure you know, and if you don't, FIND OUT YOURSELF YOU LAZY FAGGOT. I believe this is one of their first albums, and it's not bad. At all. The album seems to appeal to the softer side of my music taste, a taste that is rarely apparent (I say as I browse through my Funeral For A Friend songs). Now this is the confusing part. For me to like a soft album, it would have to be pretty fucking depressing, otherwise it's a NO GO. However, this album is so fucking happy in places it makes me want to amputate myself with a rusty toothbrush covered in apricot jam. Yet I still like it?

I've always felt Dave Grohl as a vocalist that could definitely be involved in some metal, though so far he doesn't to of seemed to go near the stuff. Shame really. But I believe that Foo Fighters, in a sense, could be sort of like the soft music for metal heads. If your a metal head, and somehow start craving some soft music because you've turned into a wrist hating, fag loving, straight-hair obsessant little shit, then go listen to Foo Fighters (I'm not saying they're emos...just...yeah...). So I got the album, listened to it the whole way through, and I was very confused. The happiness. The sadness. THE NON-METALNESS. But, for a reason I still just CAN'T explain, I like it. It's like morning wood, you have it, but you just can't explain why. Or, maybe you can. Whatever. Well the album contains a massive 18 songs (still got nothing on Katatonia), with only 2 songs being hit songs. Them being “Monkey Wrench” and “Everlong”, which can be a bit depressing, but the songs in between are basically just interludes, letting your mind wander (about why your listening to this(SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)) before the next hit starts.

So I'm still confused about why I like this. But then again, I'm also confused as to why I like metal. Oh. Wait. Because it's awesome? I can't really give advise on buying this...you would have to have some weird life-changing moment or something to ACTUALLY BUY IT. So really, I've just wasted your time, and made you look at my Foo Fighter rant. Well done.

I apologize for the pussy review, I just came across it and thought “WHY THE SHIT NOT?!”. I'll do some brutal death metal or something next time.

Guns 'N' Roses - Chinese Democracy

It's shit.

The Haunted - The Dead Eye

The Swedish Melodic Death Metal / Thrash band “The Haunted” started from the drummer, bassist and guitarist of At The Gates, the legendary band that started Melodic Death Metal (shame they were crap), when they wanted to approach a more thrash metal approach to their music. They've made a few albums before this one, which I've listened to every now and again and not been overly keen on them. However, this album is somewhat different (in other words, it's good)

Despite them aiming for more of a Thrash Metal style...they've managed to somehow end up going back to Melodic Death Metal in this album. Well...only slightly I suppose, it still remains quite thrash rooted (NO I WILL NOT MAKE A SEPULTURA PUN). One thing you will notice about this album is that they've started everything with “The”. The band name. The album name. EVER SINGLE SONG TITLE. Probably caused by some weird Swedish word fetish or something. Besides that slight annoyance, it's a pretty good album. The riffs aren't fantastic I have to admit, however, that doesn't stop the songs from being amazing. The vocals are very unique and use a good mix of aggressive harsh vocals to quite sinister clean vocals. The songs are quite diverse, going from being quite fast and thrash like, to being slow, melodic, and acoustic guitars get occasionally involved during some of the calmest moments of the album.(Don't worry, the acoustic guitar bits don't sound really gay as you may predict).

Is this album worth buying? I would say yes, especially if you're quite into Swedish thrash or melodic death metal, however, as it is quite unique, your better off checking it out first. I don't know anyone else who's listened to this album, so I may well be the only person on earth that likes it, but hopefully my judgement isn't too bad...otherwise all this reviewing stuff seems a bit ironic.

Turisas - Battle Metal

Once again, I know my fellow critics of this site will be less than pleased that I have but mentioned this band/album, but it has managed to get itself a large listening time from me, and as such feel I should review it as Turisas have made themselves popular within the last year or two, and I am meant to be the one that reviews less obscure bands.

Turisas, I believe, mark what viking metal is ALL about. They are new, and so are not one of the classic bands but somehow manage to define their own genre in a way similar to Maiden defining Heavy Metal and Metallica defining Thrash. Their musical style and lyrics both reflect this, by using violins, pipes and trumpets to give the Norse feel to their songs whilst singing about death in battle and the afterlife. Not that it has much to do with listening to the album, but they also dress up as blood-spattered warriors when on stage, which does look pretty cool.

I reckon their defining songs on this album would be 'Battle Metal' and 'Land of Hope and Glory' (no, not the hymn moron). They both use classic Norse folk styles and almost make you want to rape and pillage your neighbours for shits and giggles. I found Rex Regi Rebellis and its prologue could only be described as weird, and though it seemed kinda epic and adding to the glory and death theme it verged on being funny, but not in the good way. Sahti-Waari deserves credit, as although it is entirely in some Scandinavian language it does show that they know of their ancestry and of the viking culture, and are not just some piss-take band.

Whether this album is really worth your money is debatable. What isn't debatable is that viking metal is very much an aquired taste, one that does not suit the other two reviewers of this site. Buying the album is one thing, however, as I would undoubtedly pay to see them live. In all fairness, you can hardly hate a band too much with lyrics like this...

'With full power we smashed into their lines,
The ground shook, swords tasted their flesh,
Hooves trampling over men screaming for their lives,
The battle raged until both troops were thrashed.'

... can you?

Lamb of God - Sacrament

I'm going to start with a short rant, and short I shall keep it. I am sick and tired of 'SUPR HXC METAL FAN 4LYF' dicks saying that a band/album is shit because it is 'not heavy enough' (oh fuck off) or because it got the front cover of Kerrang magazine (do you realise how many exceptions to that there are). So yeah, Lamb of God HAVE been in Kerrang but DAMN IT THEY ARE STILL GOOD. Ok.

Lamb of God smashed their way to popularity last year with Sacrament, breaking out from being a death metal band of an aquired taste to a widely known Groove/Thrash band and winning a few Golden God awards while they were at it. At this point, I was not into any kind of heavy stuff, Maiden were my drugs and I was so much of a newfag as to think Dragonforce were actually good. Although I did have respect for this type of stuff, I just couldn't get into the whole screaming deal. But my good fellow Baxter managed to get me to try this band out after a flurry of 'ok seriously dude Lamb of God are amazing listen to Sacrament they're amazing listen to it they rule seriously listen to it dude just listen to it they're amazing'. Well I sure have no regrets now.

Riffs, pig squeals, the best drumming ever and serious hell raising effectively describes this album. It is without a doubt one of the best things I could imagine moshing to at a gig, and indeed when I did see them they made a fantastic performance out of 'Walk With Me In Hell' and 'Redneck', the two singles of the album. If the air-raid like drumming patterns don't bring you to your metaphorical knees, then undoubtedly the crazy inward screams will, not to mention the guitar solos (in particular 'Walk With Me In Hell'). My personal favourite of the album is 'More Time To Kill' which, despite being horribly underrated and ignored by many, combines kick ass lyrics and awesome rhythm with a quite frankly beautiful melodic section, then at the end combining the two to make what I believe to be the most epic piece of music that Lamb have made so far since 'Laid to Rest'. Nonetheless, songs like 'Redneck' bring out the groovey side to Lamb of God's new style, yet at the same time 'Pathetic' and 'Foot to the Throat' re-vitalise their older songs which brought them to where they are.

All in all, this IS undoubtedly one of the best metal albums, worthy of the list no doubt. It brought hope to new bands retaining the awesomeness of the last 20 years, and throwing a masterpiece of metal to the public to mosh their faces off to.

Trivium - Shogun

Ahhhhhh, finally. Trivium are back to their normal selves. NOT that i didn't enjoy The Crusade because it was still a good album, but it wasn't Trivium. But this album really shows their true style off. Let me start off by saying this is still not my favourite album by Trivium, but it's definately a confidence boost from The Crusade.

So. The new album is meant to be a mix of every style Trivium have used in the past. And i think they've definately achieved this, and then some. Starting out with the powerful "Kirsute Gomen", this song not only captivates all of Triviums previous work, but adds new things into the mix, for example, at one point jsut after the main verse there is a screaming section (and i can't tell you how good it is to hear Matt [Heafy, vocalist] screaming again) backed by an almost black metal riff speeding through. It's hard for me to choose many songs of true notice out of the album becuase tehy are ALL equally amazing. My favourite song off the album would probably be He Who Spawned The Furies. Those who have heard the album may question my choice here. But there is a 15 second or so moment from about 2:10 through into the track which has to be the most powerful, most impressive and mosh-inspiring piece of metal i have EVER heard [super cereal here]. Its jsut mind blowingly awsome, I reccomend RIGHT NOW you go on youtube or whatever listen to the song and taht bit on full volume and i guarantee your head will blow off.

A word of warning would to be wary of the song titles however. Songs such as "Torn Between Scylla And Charibdys" (lol wut) and "Like Callisto To A Star In Heaven" (eh) will probably have to be looked up before you can truly understand them, but tehy are creative nonetheless, as are the lyrics, which are very creative and intruiging, as the song i mentioned earlier (he who spawned the furies) seems to be about babies getting eaten....AWSOME. Another thing to mention would be the so called "catchiness" of the choruses. And Trivium have really outdone themselves on this front. you can find your head bobbing to rpetty much any chorus on the album such choruses can be found on "Into The Mouth Of Hell We March" and "Down From The Sky" (amazing breakdown in that song). And then Trivium top it all off with a blistering 12 minuite epic at the end of the album, which is decievingly different to the rest of teh songs on the album, i'll leave why that is for you to find out.

Overall this album is AMAZING in my opinion and i recommend this album to anyone who likes any type of metal becuase i think it can appeal to almost everyone in any of the songs and i would wager a fair sum of money on this being one of the best metal albums of 2008 (closely in competition with Slipknots "All Hope Is Gone" and Gojiras "Way Of All Flesh". And no. Not the new Metallica album LOL.) but just get it and find out for yourself.

Finntroll - Nattfödd

This is Finntroll's 4th studio album, and is widely recognized as their best ever. And this is probably due to one song. Finntroll are a black metal band mixed with Finnish Polka, also known as “Humppa”, which sounds more or less like an extreme version of folk metal. However, since their lyrics mostly revolve around trolls, they've been labelled “Troll Metal”, of which I think about 2 other bands exist. I'm still in the epic search of finding more Troll Metal, but it's...quite hard.

The thing that I found quite strange with this album, is that is has REALLY peculiar mood swings, one second the album will sound really evil and daunting, the next it'll be all jolly and happy. Of course this doesn't make it bad, at all, it just makes it sound DAMN trollish. They also use some weird folk instruments...I'm not quite sure what they are, but they do help contribute when they need to sound all happy and jolly, as they do. The vocalists vocals are always rough, except maybe the odd chant they put in, such as the Trollhammeren chorus. They tend to be quite atmospheric at times, using wind effects etc., which I suppose makes it...atmospheric. However now for the one song...that made this album totally unbelievably awesome. Trollhammeren. FUCK yes. The song is just amazing, though you should probably take it quite light-heartedly, seeing as it IS a bit of a joke, but then again, isn't all their music? Just, when/if you get the album, make SURE you listen to Trollhammeren first, you won't regret it.

Now I would say this album is worth buying, but not exactly everyone's cup of tea really, it's maybe a bit too heavy for some folk fans (apparently those exist), but a bit too happy for death metal fans. Personally, I HAVE bought the album, but really I only did so as a novelty item. I don't know, check them out first, and if you like them...well...you know what to do.

Children Of Bodom - Bloodrunk

Now, everyone says that this album was “not up to Bodom standard”, or “It's the worst album they've ever made”. Well I've spent FAR too long nodding my head and “agreeing” with them. Because this album isn't bad AT ALL. It's merely a slight style change from what they're normally like. I would say that bands are entitled to change their style, seeing as they MAKE the music, but I'm not really allowed to say that considering the massive amount of bands I've poured scorn on for doing that *cough* Trivium *cough*. The album is merely slightly slower, more down tuned, and sounded slightly thicker then their previous albums. You could see they were heading towards that style a mile away from their album “Are You Dead Yet” anyway. And I for one LIKE their new album. Though I must agree, its probably their worst album, but that's only because their other albums are impossibly amazing. I mean, with this album you get songs like “Banned From Heaven” and “One Day You Will Cry” which have awesome choruses, among others. Unfortunately the use of Warman (their keyboardist) wasn't hugely present, not many harpsichord solos to my dismay, but all well, I can just listen to Warmen if I wanted plenty of those. Still, I'm a bit disappointed with their cover, I don't think Looking Out My Back Door by Creedence Clearwater Revival was exactly the greatest choice, but I suppose it's mildly amusing if you've heard the original...which no one has.

All in all, I don't think this album really gives you the proper Bodom feel, but it's been quite put down for no reason, really. It's a great album, and the motherfucking critics seem to think otherwise because “It's not exactly the same as their other albums”. It may just be because I'm obsessed with Children Of Bodom, but I would so recommend buying this album, it's just dam awesome.

Iron Maiden - The X Factor

Before I start, I'm instantly marking all jokes related to the poor British tv show which retards are told they can sing as UNFUNNY. They have ALL been made before, and the album was out nearly two decades before the show ever was.

Now that's out of the way, the review. This album is universally known to be the worst Maiden album ever to be made. This is because the singer is Blaze Bayley, who released two albums with Iron Maiden while Bruce Dickinson thought it would be hilarious to break the hearts of a few million fans and leave the band for a few years to make an entirely failurous (new word) solo career which only made one famous song. Bayley was no replacement. His voice didn't nearly live up to Bruce's standards, but nonetheless I find it listenable. The two albums were Virtual XI and The X Factor, and though I think this is the inferior of the two, I think it still has a case to argue.

Firstly, the singing is bearable. Sure he's no Bruce, but with the exception of the chorus of 'Man on the Edge', it's not that bad. In some places it can sound better than Bruce would if he were singing, like the chorus to 'Sign of the Cross' and 'Judgement of Heaven'. As much as it sounds like it, Maiden aren't actually obsessed with religion or anything, they're said to be agnostic. Also, if you fully listen to the song 2 A.M, it does prove that some of the good stuff is still present in this album. And of course, there are still the guitarists. At this point in the timeline, Maiden had Janick who has the best stage presence of any musician known to man, and of course Dave, who is the best guitarist of all time, so you can't really go wrong. Two riffs in 'Fortunes of War' and the main one in 'Lord of the Flies' are probebly the ones that realy show it for me. And, of course, the solos are still insane, using both speed and melody in perfect harmony. I can't stress it enough, it itself describes why they are and always will be my favourite band. EVER.

Unfortunately, I'm obliged to mention the letdowns in this album, which I suppose is fair seeing as it is their most disappointing album. The songs can seem kinda boring at times, like 'The Unbeliever' and 'Blood on the World's Hand' but I assure this is ENTIRELY because of Bayley. If Bruce was singing them, they would be normal rockin' Maiden standard, and would make for an awesome album. It also can get on the listener's nerves that in almost every song there is a point where Blaze feels the need to sing so quietly that you have to put the volume up to at least 20 to hear him.

These aside, I wanna say that it isn't all that bad. Yes, it's nowhere near the best that Maiden can produce, and it's probably only really worth your cash if, like me, you're trying to get every studio album on disc (which I have, not a single one ordered online as well xD). However, it is still well made and still shows the skill that Maiden have in creating completely original and frankly amazing heavy metal whilst still holding tightly onto the style which has kept their musical career going on through the decades.

Rotting Cock - My Sister Is Dead And I Fuck Her Corpse Everyday

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One Man Army And The Undead Quartet - Grim Tales

This review is likely to be very unbiased seeing as I think they're one of the best bands ever and love all of their songs. All of them. Anyway, this is One Man Army And The Undead Quartet's (or OMAATQ) new album, Grim Tales. When I first heard that they were releasing a new album I read it would be released in 2010...so to find it like a month later was a ...slight shock. I was also kind of scared it wouldn't be very good, after all, is it really possible to produce 3 amazing albums in 3 years? Apparently the answer's yes. And lucky for me, even the artwork was fucking awesome. I've always thought OMAATQ have the best artwork ever, though no one seems to agree with me. Unfortunately, I've only managed to obtain the promo of the album, so once or twice in a song I'll get a voice cutting in saying "Your listening to a new promotional CD that's property of Massacre Records" it's pretty fucking annoying.

For those familiar with the band, the album still got the same fucking awesome vocals as before, however this time, the album has just become...so dam groovy. That's right. Groovy. You get the slow yet epic songs like “Make Them Die Slowly”, while songs like “Bonebreaker Propaganda” has one of the best riffs I've heard in a LOOONG time. Generally In the album you've got everything awesome to do with OMAATQ that you could possibly want. All the songs are pretty unique In their own right, and all have something that someone will like. Almost guaranteed. The album seems to largely revolve around death, suicide etc., which I personally think is awesome, with songs like “Death Makes It All Go Away” and “Date With Suicide”. For those however who don't really know who OMAATQ are, they're a death/ thrash metal band founded by the ex-vocalist of The Crown. I would tell you some similar artists to them, but their too ridiculously unique.

I'm giving this album a FUCK YES. Because it might very well be my album of 2008 ( better luck next time Children Of Bodom...). If you're into death metal, maybe thrash, that sort of stuff, check these guys out, I don't see regretting it as a possibility.

Dope - Life

Dope have got attitude, that much can be said. It's also the reason that they're SO DAMN LISTENABLE even after cumulative hours of hard, ass-kicking industrial metal. Life is the first album of theirs that I heard, and it blew me away so to speak, no sexual pun intended.

Seeing as I have mainly good things to say about this album, I may as well start off with the things I don't particularly like. May seem weird but it's getting them out of the way. The first song, 'Take Your Best Shot', despite being rhythmic and sufficiently heavy, is somewhat repetitive and quite boring. The entire song is effectively repeating the chorus which isn't even that good. There is also, like so many other albums I have listened to, an irritating lapse in awesomeness near the end, with songs made to be skipped like 'Crazy', 'Jenny's Cryin'' (AWFUL song) and 'Slipping Away'. They tend to be extremely boring and become background noise.

Then, of course, are the good things about the album. The riffs, whilst not technically impressive, sound so damn good on high volume, as in the exact sorta stuff you would wanna see at a gig. They incorporate electronic whines and effects to seriously pick up the pace until you're so into it you would blow your own brains out if they told you to. Their choruses are another great feature, listen to 'Nothing', 'Now Or Never' and 'What About' and you should see what I mean. Despite them being a bad-ass, constantly pissed off band these choruses do actually portray emotion pretty damn well. Last and definitely not least (seeing as it's what I think is THE best bit about Dope) is their attitude that rings out like being kicked in the bollocks in all of their best songs. 'Die Motherfucker Die', 'Thanks For Nothing', 'March of Hope' and my favourite of the album 'You're Full of Shit' are undoubtedly the killer examples. Listen and be absorbed. Seriously the album is worth your dough even if only for those four songs I reckon.

But yeah, I think this is actually listenable for fans of Nu and Industrial Metal, and maybe even general rock listeners. They're not overly heavy, they just enjoy swearing and partying. Though I do get the feeling that Dope might not be so well enjoyed by Death, Black or Thrash metal devotees, I think they're worth a shot.

Bloodbath - Resurrection Through Carnage

This is Bloodbath's first album, and so as i usually do with a bands first album, is have a little sympathy on it. However, this really doesn't need sympathy. At all. It's a GREAT album. Bloodbath are a Death metal ( Although I think they sound more Old School Death Metal....but apparently no...just new school) band from Sweden, and as I found out quite recently...they're a SUPERGROUP. They have guys from Edge of Sanity, Nightingale, Katatonia, Diabolical Masquerade, October Tide, Hypocrisy, Witchery and Satanic Slaughter. Pretty epic, eh? Anyway, the review. Bloodbath are...not exactly what you would call a "typical" metal band. They use a weird unique guitar effect throughout all of their songs, which REALLY works. They have a good consistent rhythm throughout, epic choruses in most songs, and sick as shit guitar solos like EVERYHWERE. The vocals are also unique...they're sort of rasping low vocals, which I have yet to hear in another band. They have a good mix of songs, from the funky ones like “Mass Strangulation” and “Buried By The Dead” to the rather creepy evil ones like “Death Delirium”. I won't bother talking about the lyrics as I'm pretty sure you can guess form the song titles and the band name.

I'm giving this album 4/5 for being awesome, however there is certainly room for improvement in the band. I think this would definitely be a good buy for death metal fans, however for other people it might probably be a bit of a no-no, generally, I would advise checking them out first anyway, just in case they aren't your thing.

Coheed and Cambria - Good Apollo I'm Burning Star Volume IV: Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness

Ok, the name of the album isn't exactly practical for saying in one go, and they're not that heavy, but honestly, I think C&C's epic album at least deserves a mention from the thousands of times I have been able to listen to this album without getting bored. And by the way, when I say C&C I DO NOT mean Command and Conquer. On with the review...

Surprisingly enough, I got into this band through my sister. This is unusual because not only is her music somewhat.... softer than my taste allows but also because I usually get irritated by her music being played at 10 million decibels in the next room. But Coheed and Cambria was always something good to be heard because even though the voice is almost timid and the guitars never grind like steel on pavement I would always find myself air guitaring madly. The album is, like all of their records, a concept one, based on the storyline of the man and woman called Coheed and Cambria (shockingly). This is the turning point which is meant to be the demise of the characters, hence the violent lyrics in most of songs; 'a selfish little whore, if I had my way I'd crush your face in the door', and 'you burn in hell while they're digging you out' are good examples. These lyrics may be harsh, yet they fit creepily well with the backing music. I imagine the approval of the vocals will be like Marmite and Avenged Sevenfold: love or hate, because they do not scream, barely shout and even whisper some of the time. The guitar parts are fantastic, in particular the third track 'Welcome Home', where the guitarist shreds it out to a pinch harmonic almost every bar at one point, and has a 2 minute solo near the end.

I realise this review is getting long, so to cut it short, this is an impressive piece of work, and ANY prog metal fans should be quick to buy this. However, for any thrash, death or black metal fans this is a big no-no. I give it 4/5 for its brilliant guitars and bass parts, but although I enjoy the vocals, I don't love them. Have a listen and decide I think is the only answer.

Lordi - Arockalypse

Lordi....can you get ANY cooler?! I think we all know the answer to that. NO. For those weird people out there who don't know who Lordi are, they're a hard rock band (if you make me explain to you what hard rock is, say goodbye to your head) from Finland. They've released 2 horror movies (which I have yet to see) and are just FUCKING AWESOME. They dress as like monsters to increase awesomeness too. Well this is their newest album which the hit song which won Eurovision 2006, Hard rock Hallelujah, was included. And thus why this album gets even MORE lovin' from me, because they're Christians. Anyway. The vocals are pretty unique form what I know, and they have backing singing vocals, which are sort of weird but work very well. They use a keyboard in all of their songs, which is cool. With Lordi, you know its all cool, seeing as the songs are either AMAZING or a joke. Luckily, they're ALL amazing. Lordi just have the best lyrics known to man, the best verses and the DAM CATCHIEST choruses. Its all just very anthemic and catchy it just might blow you're head off. I'm being very, very serious when I say your head might actually fall off and explode. And so that's probably why the album is liked so much. Still, looking forward to getting some motherfucking LORDI COLA.

Giving this album a 4.5/5 because its just amazing, however on the down side its not the most skilled thing in the world and some of the songs are a bit boring sometimes (I know I should of mentioned that earlier but heck, I WAS ON A ROLL). Should you buy this album? Well....it's not a hugely metal album really, but if you're wanting a bit of a joke, then HELLYEAH

Grailknights - Return to Castle Grailskull

Yes, I know. 'Oh dear, it's another one of those lame, sad old bands that find it arousing to dress up in homoerotic superhero costumes and sing cheesy metal'. You're damn right. And they're fucking amazing.

I was slightly doubtful when I first borrowed this album off Ryan. They're a nearly unheard of German underground battle metal band which sing about glorious death on the battlefield for the sake of their holy grail. I was also kinda creeped out when I heard the strange, croaky old man shouting 'Ohh, my grandmother' in the second track. But if you look past this, you got some really catchy and technical stuff.

To start with, the guitarists are awesome. Instead of basic chord patterns they follow the styles of classic heavy metal bands, but also that of some country/folksy stuff, which sound surprisingly good, like in 'Home At Last', despite its repetitiveness. They also have two anthemic grail-related tracks which keep up the cheesy viking-type theme, 'Hail To The Grail' and 'Return To Castle Grailskull'. They released one single from this album, 'Moonlit Masquerade', and even though the video has the worst CGI in history it is a great track. The 'knights show their prowess in dual guitar riffs with Prevail and good fast paced instrumental breaks in 'Raving Storms'. I think the only slight letdown was 'Fight Until You Die', solely for the reason it isn't very long.

I give this album a 4/5 rating. It would have my 5/5 approval if ALL the songs were as epic as 'Return to Castle Grailskull' and if there just a few more songs. Nonetheless, a good buy, if you can find it, but if you do manage to people will probably call you a weirdo.

Slipknot - All Hope Is Gone

Slipknot have FINALLY returned after about 3 or 4 years of miscombobulations and arguments and side projects (namedly Stone Sour and The Muderdolls) between the famous 9. And i should hope they were dearly missed, becuase i certainly wanted them back! You can only go for so long without the kind of anger Slipknot gives to the listener that no other band can quite provide.

Their new album grimly titled "All Hope Is Gone" is an exeedingly brilliant album that the fans deserve after their prolonged abscence. It lives up to the hype and popularity that it has gained, and then some. The anger is still there, the verses are as brutal as ever, and the choruses are more anthemic and catchy than they have ever been. AND YET they still retained the slow and epic and slightly distorted side that we saw in Vol.3 with songs like Vermillion pt 2. clearly reflected in the occasional song like snuff or the disturbingly evil Gehenna. But whatever you do, DO NOT think that these few slow songs makes this album seem like a complete pussy compared to previous albums. The main songs on the album for me would have to be Vendetta and the incredibly popular Psychosocial. Both blastingout riffs and angry vocals like it was the riff and vocals summer sale. Not to mention the INCREDIBLE choruses thatafter listening to for the 30th time im still not bored of. Not to mention the fast pased title track All Hope Is Gone blasting out right at the end. 

This aside the quality of the music itself is still very impressive. With Joey Jordison giving a strong, solid and complex performance with the drums. Corey, with his vocals at a greater level than ever before, the shouting as angry as ever and the singing as complex and epic as i think he will ever be able to get it. and then the other 7 doing whatever the hell they happen to be doing extremely well!

Overall i give this album 4.5 although i would have loved to give it a 5 (but SOME people here believe that it doesnt deserve to be on the best albums ever list). How wrong they are..

Children of Bodom - Hatebreeder

Ryan is possibly the biggest Bodom fan this world has ever known so you would expect him to be writing this review, but I've seen them and he hasn't so I'm going to no matter what he says.

I give this album a BIG kudos. Not for the usual things: skill in vocals, guitars, drums etc. (though that is indeed present here!). No, this album has something else. Something that few other metal bands have, and fewer still that I would admit bands to having. Genius. This is an album like no other.

Metal, despite the hundreds of sub-genres, is all based on a similar style. Hard n' heavy chords, harsh, angry or epic vocals, drums like an M249 drilling bullets into Nazi skulls. But this is written like it is nothing less than a piece of classical, here comes the word again, genius. Constant melodies overlap background rhythms to the point where your mind seems to reach musical nirvana as you realise that Bodom don't just have a mind of metal, they can think seriously, seriously, clever stuff. A good listen to songs like 'Towards Dead End' and 'Silent Night, Bodom Night' shows this clearly. While they left behind the direct classical reference by using a harpsichord in 'Something Wild', they maintain this image in such a good way.

I can't say more really. Just buy it. I'm giving this album a whole 4 stars, only lacking because Bodom go on to show only more of their genius in their later albums. I'm only half recommending this album, because the other half is just congratulating Children of Bodom.

Skindred - Babylon

 Its good to see something original and new on the metal scene. And this shit is seriously original. it seems to have been dubbed "raggametal" or some kind of reggae, metalcore, nu-metal, hip-hop mutation. But the thing is, it works like a charm. Theres nothing more refreshing than hearing a few chunky metal riffs only to stop dead to let black lead singer Benji rip out a few reggae/rap style vocals at hyper speed only to slam back into action in an epic chorus of a new but effective mix of different cultures styles of music.

Skindred's first album does exactly this, it perfects the bridge between these different genres and makes it its own. Bursting into action with the extremely catchy and anthemic "Nobody" which in itself should be enough to make you addicted to the album. Another favourite of mine is the song "Pressure" is an extremely feel-good song. And im sayin this from someone who usually hates feel-good music. But it manages once more to pull off this completely obscure style to perfection. Its the sort of song you can just imagine chilling on the beach to. Try saying that about most metal songs!!! 

Alright ill have to admit the guitar and drums are seemingly uncomplicated and simple, but in a way that still allows the music to flow and be incredibly catchy at the same time. The vocals make the album for me though. One complaint i would have for this album is it has too many of those crappy intervals that most metal albums have. Like its the norm sometimes for there to be maybe one soft part for 30 seconds to a minuite of an album where it builds up to a song or something... but dont you think 4 of those is a bit much? you get the intro then interlude 1,2 and 3! i mean at least call them something else. Also i think its a bit of a dissappointment when the song the album is named after isnt one of the best on the album...

Overall Skindred's Babylon would get a 4/5 from me. It was extremely impressive from such a new genre to pull somthing off which was so successful. Just....too many intervals and too simple musicianship from the rest of the band. Making singer Benji stand out from the rest maybe a bit more than he should. 

Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight

I, no doubt, will be flamed for even mentioning this filthy piece of shit on a metal review site. But I simply cannot believe how bands can suddenly change route so vastly that it can make me wish death upon all their puny souls.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm NOT an LP hater. I'm well aware that their albums Hybrid Theory and Meteora made some really good, catchy, and more importantly epoch-defining nu metal, picking up hip-hop and electronic fans along the way with Reanimation. But when M2M was released the only thing I was bothered by before listening to the tracks was the fact that they apeared to have stolen both the name and font from Iron Maiden. Odd...

It was then that I borrowed the album. A day was all it took. With me it takes a while to judge an album, I usually take a lot of listening time to register the vocals, guitar parts etc. With this it was a few hours to realise the pure... shitness that LP had offered us with their new album. Heavy rhythmic riffs are out the window, replaced with pathetic, 'heart breaking' little patterns in the intros of songs. The former 'anger solos' that were in almost every song in the former style have been only used in about two of the tracks. They make a feeble attempt at guitar technicality in 'In Pieces'. They don't realise it could be played by a 4 year old.

Even worse is that this is their last 'metal' album before LP turn fully hip-hop. 'Hammering the final nail into nu-metal's coffin' in the words of Metal Hammer magazine. All they did was give themselves the worse leaving party ever known to man.

I could give this album a 1/5 rating, but I think a definitive 'NO' would be more effective. If you have the album for some reason, do yourself a favour and be like our dear Guy Sindall. Throw it in the bin where it belongs.

Avenged Sevenfold - City Of Evil

Oh Dear. well for anyone who's a fan of avenged sevenfold that doesn't want to hear a negative opinion about them stop reading NOW. That was some what of a terrible 40 minutes of my life that I never want to repeat, listening to that. I shall start with the good things about the album. it has an aright tune in places, and i guess the instrumentals are quite skilful. Besides that, the vocalist I REALLY don't get. I just don't understand why people like those vocals, it sounds like someone's chopped off his man vegetables and stuffed them into his nostrils. The vocals get so high pitched at some points you wouldn't believe that its considered singing, or even as sum freaks call it, GOOD singing. at those points it sounds more like someone's then decided that after shoving his balls up his nose, it wasn't funny enough, so then had to nail them into his brain. but anyway enough about the lead singers testicles. they also sound like as if maybe they're trying to be....bad ass? Well if they are, they're failing miserably, their guitars so happy its just fucking gay. and you don't get a break from it either.

You could just say I'm a faggot that's "ignorant to Avenged Sevenfold's amazingness" well...maybe you're ignorant to how much they suck? But anyway you might be into that sort of stuff I don't know....but if you're anything like me then stay the fuck away from it....1.5/5 , NOT worth getting, that's all I gotta say really

Converge - You Fail Me

Now I don't care what you say, this album is THE SHIZZLE. (It was good). Converge are a mathcore band, and probably the best one at that. Although the band claim that their music is what hardcore “should” sound like, when actually the morons went and made a whole new genre...the silly turds. Anyway, if you aren't familiar with mathcore, its basically just a more extreme version of hardcore, and if you aren't familiar with hardcore, well...then you can find out yourself, why should I care? Converge have only a few songs with riffs (such as "You Fail Me"), being mathcore and all that, but I'm sure if they did have riffs on all the songs, the riffs would be AWESOME. They make up for it however, by having the coolest bits in their songs EVER, the little guitar and drum solos and all that are just amazing. And then there's the vocals. the vocals are totally unique (as far as I know) and are practically indescribable (one person said it sounded like a dog barking into a distortion microphone. The world these days is filled with stupid people...).

Me and my friend (yes, I have a friend) had an argument once over who was a better vocalist, Mark Hunter (Chimaira) or Jacob Banner (Converge). (Obviously I was rooting for converge, despite overall liking Chimaira more) and there's not REALLY any proof as to which ones better, so I asked the great Nick Cotton, and it seems Jacob Bannon wins. Hurrah for democracy (?).

Now before I give you advise on whether to buy it or not, I should say something. The majority of metal heads I know say converge are shit, because they "have no tune and are vewwy vewwy boring". WRONG. But anyway you may share that wrong opinion I don't know.

Well I would (and am) going to give the album 4.5/5, because...its good. but its not THAT good, if you get me. Still, and mathcore lovers, GET IT, Converge lovers, GET IT. people looking for some extreme music, GET IT. as for hardcore fans and your average joe metal head (so probably most people reading this) try listening to a few of the songs on the album first., (Go for "Eagles Become Vultures" or "Heartless") and see what you think. and whatever you think, get it anyway.

Deadlock - Wolves

Screw you Cockwaddle, this review is MINE. Deadlock's newest album, Wolves, is , in my opinion, by far the best one. Deadlock are a death metal band with techno influences from Germany. Deadlock tend to have the usual thick guitar sound along with a lot of nifty guitar solos, which is pretty cool, and also they use a keyboard a lot, and in songs like “End Begins” they seem to include some sort of rave bit in the middle of the song much to my dismay, however songs like “Loser's Ballet” have actual piano sounding bits in it, which isn't so bad I guess. Still, this album came as quite a surprise to me, as I didn't expect a female vocalist in the songs. Now I know what you're probably thinking : “Fuck, not a WOMAN”, BUT she is actually an amazing vocalist, even more to my surprise. Luckily the female vocalist doesn't do the vocals ALL the time, mostly just during the choruses, and there are sum brutal vocals during the vocals and stuff, and very good brutal vocals at that. But trust me, the brutal vocals and the female vocals TOTALLY work. (Although I heard that she's SHIT live, however, my friend advised me that ALL singers are shit live. Isn't that nice to know....)

The songs are really well composed as well, so you get like awesome verses AND choruses, which is always a good thing. The band itself is just extremely unique, and really, the only disadvantage to the female vocalist is that if you see a picture of her you'll notice she has MASSIVE EYES. So...no, don't think you're gonna be spending a long time wanking over her. It's just not gonna happen I'm sorry. And don't worry, the whole techno or whatever stuff is barely noticeable and isn't even that bad. Except for the bit in the middle of “End Begins”...that's just atrocious

I reckon this album is worth 5/5, because it's awesome and unique, and genuinely worth buying. However it's hard to say what type of people would like the album because originally I would say death metal fans....but the female vocals might put them off that....I don't know. But just give the album a listen, it'll be worth it (“Code Of Honour” is a good song for that).

Stone Sour - Stone Sour

Ah...This brings back memories. I got this album from my brother on Christmas day when I was 13. Get inside was the first song I listened to on Christmas day, nice and cheery. Also, it was the first album I've ever owned, followed by “Metallica – Master Of The Puppets” Well anyway Corey Taylor (Vocalist from Slipknot) seems to of hit quite a success with his new alternative metal band Stone Sour. If any of you only know songs from their newer album "Come What-Ever May" you might be a bit reluctant from this album seeing as it was a bit of a faggy album, and for that reason made the band more well known. Their first album (This one) however, is a lot heavier. More like slipknot themselves as well, though I've always found it weird how his vocals are different in Stone Sour then in Slipknot. The album is mostly vocal based, not many guitar solos in it, still, its a pretty damn angry album. There's a good mix of clean and harsh vocals in the album, varying between the songs.

There are a lot of strange noises in the album though which is slightly creepy and some what off-putting (the beginning of Blotter and Tumult are good examples). But still, the guitar is still nice and heavy, with the odd exception. Their style is a lot like Slipknot, just less manic and has a few softer songs, whether you prefer that or not I don't know. Their lyrics make a lot more sense then the Slipknot ones did, and generally discuss sociological problems....that's as detailed as I can say really, the lyrics talk about quite different things for each of the songs.

I would give this album 4/5 stars, due to it being pretty solid, not really having any awful songs in it and just being good, despite the weirdness etc. Buying this album is a different story though. If you're not a Slipknot or Nu/ alternative metal fan, it may not appeal to you so much. Still, you should probably check out a few of the songs just in case.

God Forbid - IV (Constitution of Treason)

I don't think that the old God Forbid records did the New Jersey thrash metal band any justice for what amazing metal they can produce. It got better with Gone Forever, but I think it is truly this album that brings out the flat out, heart pumping yet melodic thrash metal they can achieve. Whilst Reject the Sickness (1999) made them seem like a same-old type band, this album shows the real potential in progressive thrash. The riffs blend with insane drum patterns effortlessly, while Byron Davis' gut-wrenching screams complement guitarist Doc Coyle's singing to create 10 tracks of showing what metal is meant to be.

In addition to this, this is coming from someone who usually finds thrash boring and uncreative. While I still leave two tracks from this album to the die-hard thrash fans ('Into The Wasteland' and 'Under This Flag') the rest I find exactly what I love in metal: pure bona fide anger in a can yet combined with harmonies and well-constructed instrumental sections which you could listen to for hours. The first track 'End of the World' is one of the three singles released from this album and is definitely one of the best. It shows GF's pure talent for weaving riffs together to make serious headbanging shit. 'Chains of Humanity', another single has undoubtedly the best chorus in the entire album, and 'Lonely Dead' making up for it's slight letdown during verse with two minutes of stunning instrumental at both the beginning and end of the song, including an unusual piano interlude to finish it off. The song also has the best 'Forbid riff yet in my opinion. The album takes a sudden twist with 'Welcome To The Apocolypse', an unexpected tone down with a slow, emotional skit describing freedom being an act of treason in post-apocolyptic USA.


I giving this 5/5 without looking back. If it is bought with the DVD as well, it is worth every penny, as it provides not only an outstanding piece of seriously good metal but also an inspiring record for anyone starting to play metal guitar, drums or bass. Without a doubt one of the best albums I have heard.

Five Finger Death Punch - The Way Of The Fist

Woah
That's pretty much this album summed up in one word. Awesome melody, vocals, composition, everything really. This is one the best albums I've heard in a LONG time, and I'm sure most people will agree with me. Being a groove/thrash metal band, I wasn't really expecting much, just the usual stuff. I more or less just got the album because the band had a funny name. But well the band don't seem to be out there to make people laugh. Funnily enough, the singer used to be the singer for Motograter, whose album I got because they painted themselves and sounded funny. It turns out Motograter were pretty dam serious as well unfortunately... but for those Motograter fans out there, if such things do exist, then well the vocalist is pretty much the same, just he uses harsh vocals a lot more then before but anyway the songs tend to be 2/3 harsh vocals 1/3 singing, most of which is done during the choruses. The songs have a good amount of guitar solos, though I'm not too keen on their guitar solos for sum reason. The lyrics are those classic metal lyrics that talk about the problems they have with other people and themselves. Well on the most part anyway.

In conclusion, this album is DEFINTLY worth buying no matter which type of metal you like....unless you ONLY like grindcore or something...I would give it 5/5 stars, BUT I give it 4.5/5 because I feel its just kinda missing that extra something, and so it JUST misses the "one of the best albums ever" mark. Still, it's worth buying.

Soilwork - Steelbath Suicide

 
Being their first album, I sort of forgive them for it not being that great, the vocals on the album never really change pitch and almost constantly remain very high pitched. most of the songs sound the same and are hard to distinguish, the guitar effects are sort of annoying and well the whole album is just kinda mediocre. but of course those are just the bad things, the songs have quite good melodies, the guitar solos are AWESOME and there's lots of them, so if guitar solos are you're thing then you might be up for this. keep in mind that if you're familiar with Soilwork, you probably wont be with their earlier albums, and just to say, they're a LOT different. they were melodic death metal at that point, similar to "At The Gates", well they still are melodic death metal, just they're softer melodic death metal now...if that makes sense to you

They do have sum good songs in it like "Razorlives" which are pretty good, and they also have a cover of Deep Purple's "Burn" which is very good, though I don't know where they conjured the woman from....
Or well at least I THINK the cover is on the album, I'm not quite sure. Having looked at the lyrics, I still don't think Soilwork actually understand English, none of their songs on any of their albums seem to make sense...well at least to me they don't

Anyway, I would give this album a 3/5, 3.5 if you REALLY feel like pushing it. Buying this album is something that would only be advisory if you were a big fan of guitar solos, or At The Gates, that sort of thing. None the less, I do plan to buy the album, as I have every other Soilwork album...so why not?

Yhdarl - Ø (EP)

NO. This album I wouldn't touch with a barge pole. It's seriously disgusting. It's a 40 minute EP. There's only one song in the EP. Yup that's right, drone sludge metal, and its bad even for that. I got it because I sort of needed some more bands beginning with Y and it looked funny. When I finally came round to listening to it, me and my friend listened to it at the same time, the whole way through. I almost cried. It's boring, depressing, and a rare occasional vocal which sucks anyway. It's a one man band, so I guess it'll be easier to kill everyone in the band for creating that shit. Literally nothing happens in the "music" and so there is no point in listening to it at all.

This is going to get a mighty 0/5 stars, I can say literally NOTHING positive about this album. Is it worth buying? I don't think I'll bother answering that. Well incase you DO think it'll be worth buying it just for a laugh, NO. I've gotten tonnes of albums that are funny because they suck, but this is just something else, you can't laugh at it, you'll just get pissed off and throw the album out the window.

Debauchery - Continue To Kill

Damn this album is awesome, death metal (although according to the all knowing Wikipedia, it can also be considered as Death 'n' Roll, which I suppose it could, but I would stick with death metal) at its best. The songs have the grooviest riffs EVER, the vocals are REALLY good (very similar to Six Feet Under vocals), awesome choruses, and some damn good guitar solos. The albums solid the whole way through, it just never stops getting awesome. This album along with Aborted's new album have now given me a new found love for the more brutal side of death metal, that's just how good it is. It's one of those albums where once you start listening to one of the songs, you just CAN'T STOP. I even find the intro amazing.

A funny thing about the album is that Debauchery have received a lot of criticism in the time that they've been around, people claiming them to being "boring" and "too similar to Six Feet Under"(its neither of these) and the beginning of the song "King Of Killing" takes the piss out of that, and is just an amazing intro, unfortunately the rest of the song isn't great. The down side is that I do see where they are coming from when they say that they're "boring" they can get VERY repetitive lyrics at some points which can get annoying. Their lyrics, as you may of guessed by the bands name, the albums name, and their genres name, are about killing. They don't have hugely gory lyrics, which is good as I'm not a fan of that, though they do talk about killing like....EVERYONE, but it doesn't really go into much detail about how their going to do that. Well that's if you compare them to Cannibal Corpse anyway it gets to "I will stitch your anus together So you will drown in your own shit" and not much gorier.

I am going to give this album 5/5 stars, which it JUST managed, the repetitiveness does let it down a bit. but still, this has definitely managed to be one of the best albums ever. so obviously yes, even if you're not a fan of death metal, its still definitely worth getting. unless of course you're a nu metal fag or some thing