Dragonforce - Valley of the Damned

Ergh. I grow increasingly tired of Dragonforce these days, now that I actually know more than two things about how good music is made. I have learnt that decent metal/rock is NOT measured by how quickly and stupidly its guitarists can play. Their 'epic' theme is also a bit dry, partly cos no one gives a crap about the lyrics, and partly because they're grown men. Herman Li continues his tiresome spree of hitting 5 notes as quickly as possible to make 11 year olds say 'Wow! This is the best band ever! How come not everyone listens to them?' No, Herman Li is not a guitar hero, which is ironic seeing as Through the Fire and Flames is on the third game. He just knows a few scales, puts them at a really high note and taps them as quickly as his fingers can move. Sam, the other guitarist, sucks more, with his solos which are actually worse than Herman's. They also both are notorious for sitting down AND missing every second note at their live shows.

Yes, Dragonforce are original. But that's only because every other band know that where they're going is meant to be a no-go area, parading around with the illusion of talent. It is a shame indeed that the singer has the ability to hit extremely impressively high notes, but just ends up annoying me with the songs they make. The song to name and shame this album with is Starfire, which is cheesy without being funny. Too cheesy. In fact, it's more cheesy than a Chuck Norris film with melted Brie, Wendsleydale and Edam being spread on top. The only song I could find mildly enjoyable was Disciples of Babylon, as jazz, classical and funk styles are all used for quite a good sounding cocktail. Every other song sounded the same. Unfortunately, in this case, the same means' ALL SHIT'.

So I said it. Herman Li is talentless. It's true. Talent involves decent music writing with the inclusion of more than a couple of notes being played at a supersonic speed. This album only exhibits this further. Don't buy it. If you're going to praise it at all, let it be for the artwork.