KISS - Destroyer

Now I am fully aware that these days, with cheesy charts songs completely eradicated, KISS are widely hated for their incredible corniness and Gene Simmons acting as if he is the sexiest person in the world despite him being old and Jewish (OOHHH RACISM shut up). And, despite me being a big KISS fan, I would really understand someone hating them if they only heard this album. It is a pile of monkey balls.

You could accuse me of hating things that were only normal for the time, and I suppose you would be right and people didn't really cringe at this stuff in the 70s, but to be honest I've heard SO many other things from the 70s that isn't such... shit. I don't mind the song 'God of Thunder', and I actually like 'Detroit Rock City'. But every other song just ends up being nauseatingly soppy and lame. I mean just listen to 'Great Expectations' and tell me you haven't heard such awful lyrics, painful lack of riffage and dreadful use of a tambourine. Yeah, they murder that tambourine. I don't know how 'Beth' ended up being a popular track, I can't describe it better than celebrated nihilism, and for those who don't know what that means, just don't bother listening. You're better off without.

The strange thing is, I actually love a majority of their stuff. The rest is still cheesy, but it rings off nicely with a good retro vibe and has great solos and riffs. They're known to be a great live band and I have 'ALIVE III' (strangely enough they only play ONE song from this album) and it's great. But this is just a letdown and only makes you embarassed to like the band.

I was drawn into buying this album by HMV calling it one of the 'Hundred Albums to Listen to Before You Die'. I would describe it better as an album to HELP you die.

Darkest Hour - Deliver Us

Darkest Hour are a melodic metalcore band (similar to “As I Lay Dying”) and to be quite honest, Henry couldn't of put it any better when he said “So basically, this is awesome”. I've come across a lot of albums, some of which I've found absolutely amazing, but in the end (If you just thought about Linkin Park, shoot yourself), they just bore me after about 3 days. This is such an exception it's unbelievable. I've had this album for almost 2 years now. And it never ceases to strike me as absolutely AMAZING.

Well why is it so amazing? Because the chorus' are fucking catchy and epic, beyond human belief, I mean, I guess I'll state all the songs on it that have awesome chorus'. “Doomsayer”; “Demon”, “A Paradox With Flies”, “An Ethereal Drain”, “Tunguska”, “Fire in the Skies”, “Deliver Us” and “Sanctuary” (although the 'chorus' in Sanctuary is sort of only played once). That leaves 3 songs on the album I haven't mentioned. One is an Interlude, so obviously doesn't have a chorus (but don't worry, the interlude is VERY epic), the other 2 are simply a bit more aggressive songs, and don't really have chorus', although still good songs, they do fall short of the rest of the album, very good instrumentals though (and that's coming from me, the guy who knows NOTHING about instrumentals). But if you don't think the epic chorus' are enough, the harsh vocals are also pretty insane, along with the...clean(er) vocals. Whole album is very dynamic the whole way through, and getting bored while listening to this is just...not possible.

There's really not much else to say really, coming across an album this good is a very rare thing, and I doubt it will happen again any time soon. I actually love this album so much, I feel like naming like naming it the best album of all time....but I'm not going to. Should you buy this album? FUCK YES. It's so worth the money, whether you're into death metal, nu metal, WHATEVER, you don't get much better than this. So buy it. NOW.

Converge - No Heroes

Like all of Converge's albums I've found this to be extremely under rated, however, this one in particular. It's gotten shit from a lot of people, typical emo fags, typical people fags, and strangely enough, a lot of metal heads. They consider it to merely be noise. That, however, is BULLSHIT. Although a few more songs are lot more hectic then even usual Converge, you do get calm moments, and very catchy bits. After all, that is the whole point of mathcore. A very good example of this would be the song “No Heroes”. Having been on Youtube and seen the comments I found on the music video, I can tell you it's depressing how many musically ignorant people there are in the world. But still the song, upon my first listening it was actually kind of boring...it was just kind of...mediocre. BUT, having listened to the whole thing through a couple more times, I can safely say, it's an AMAZING song.

Still taking an even more mathcore based approach to their music, their song lengths range from 58 seconds to 9 minutes and 34 seconds, just as mathcore should be. The short songs are usually the more chaotic songs, while the long songs are a bit repetitive (listen to “Plagues”) however amongst the repetitiveness there's usually some FUCKING EPIC bit. Some people also thought they would hear Jacob Bannon's (lead vocalist) clean vocals again, as they did in Jane Doe. Well. THEY WERE MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT. Personally I think that's a good thing, as it made some songs feel a bit daunting and weirder. However, there's a large chance you wouldn't like his clean vocals, they are a bit....unique after all. However, you may notice a difference in the song “Grim Heart/Black Rose” in the vocals...well that's because they got a guest singer, Jonah Jenkins (the vocalist from the band “Only Living Witness”). Still, the screaming is as good as ever, Jacob Bannon's impossibly monstrous voice has definitely managed to stand the test of that dick, time.

This album is a lot heavier, yet also a lot softer then previous albums (if that makes sense to you), so i'm really quite interested to see which direction they take with their next album. Whether you should buy this or not, is quite an easy question. Although yes, this is DEFINITLY A FUCKING AWESOME ALBUM, it is a very acquired taste, and the likes of mere mortals (people into softer metal, such as Metallica) shouldn't bother, however those who like mathcore, extreme hardcore, or someone who's simply looking for a crazy new album, are definitely in the right place.

Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

Like it or not, Maiden MADE 80s metal. Yes, there was Black Sabbath and Judas Priest that were around and indeed they did inspire Maiden to make what they did/do, but it was Iron Maiden that really hit big and started 'heavy metal', rather than just heavier rock. The two albums preceding the Number of the Beast were both with former singer Paul Di'anno who was good, but didn't have any epic factor to his voice, and he was a druggy anyway. So when Bruce joined in '83 and made Number, things really started getting good.

Three Maiden classics are spawned on this album, the incredibly well-known 'Run to the Hills', the title track 'Number of the Beast' and one of Maiden's best live songs 'Hallowed Be Thy Name'. Not all that surprising that they were accused of being Satanists, really. There probably isn't a single metalhead who hasn't at least heard of Iron Maiden and for the most part, this is the reason. At this point in their career Dave and Adrian were the guitarists, and their harmonic solos and alternating riffs make every song catchy, rememberable and of course air guitar-able. Apart from the three classics, my favourite song would have to be 'The Prisoner', mainly for its awesome chorus, but the riff is pretty sweet as well, and I always find myself skipping straight to this track every time I listen to this album. 'Epic metal' is a term that is often used to describe Maiden's style, and if you listen to 'Children of the Damned', you will see why. I could go on and praise every song on the album in it's own way; each song is unique and is just so good.

One of the best albums ever? Yes. Well, in that case not much to criticise, but I think 'Gangland', which is only available on the remastered edition, could have been a little more fast-paced and exciting, but still is sufficiantly epic and doesn't realy weigh the album down. But that's about it, I just can't say anything bad about Number, it's too good I think.

If you're either a heavy metal maniac or just someone searching for classic albums and for some reason you don't have this album, you suck. It's the true roots of Heavy Metal and even today its greatness is recognisable. Buy it, buy it now.

End of Green - Last Night on Earth

My music taste in general is usually either metal of all eras, or 80s rock, without much middle ground. Modern rock DEFINITELY doesn't appeal to me on the wide scale, but there's something about goth rock band End of Green that I actually like. Nowhere near to say that they are one of my favourite bands, nor that this album is one of the best ever, definitely not. But amidst the dreary chord patterns, the depressing themes and drony vocals (WOAH ALLITERATION) End of Green have something to show.

One thing not to look for in Last Night on Earth however: EXCITEMENT. This is NOT an album you can lie down and listen to and pay full attention to, as if you did you would get EXTREMELY bored. Now I'M AWARE OF ALL THE CAPS I'M USING TODAY. The point about goth rock is that it isn't really stimulating, but can act as good background noise, whatever you're doing. So, if you were in a plain white room with no furniture listening to the 9-minute 'Queen of all My Dreams' or the 11-minute 'Empitness/Lost Control' you would probably want to commit suicide, but if you were doing something productive at the same time it's great. What I really like about the band is the vocalist, his whining isn't annoying like Muse (personal opinion), instead it portrays emotion very effectively and does draw you in. 'Tormented Sundown' is probably the ideal track for showing this.

Liveliness picks up with punky 'Highway 69', but the majority of the album focuses on either deathly or spooky styles. Unfortunately, this sort of stuff is absolute bait for cocks to call us 'emos' for listening to it and asking us why we're not cutting our wrists and summoning Satan. Though, I would like to see more creativity in what they're listening to, Kaiser Chiefs I'm afraid do not make the cut. Anyway, End of Green don't hugely stand out in today's scene, but they're good. Not fantastic, but a good band, worth a listen three or four times maybe, but perhaps not worth you cash unless you're a real goth fan.

Faithful Darkness - In Shadow Lies Utopia

In all honesty, Soilwork really don't appeal to me much. I see them as a good band, but it is mainly the vocals that put me off, and it is thankfully for me that in the drummer's new band, Faithful Darkness, where this is all turned around. In addition to this, their debut album 'In Shadow Lies Utopia' is one of the best metal albums I've ever heard, but that's a minor detail.

What I find truly makes an epic album is interludes, whether they be classical or of a softer nature, such as in Deadlock's 'Wolves' or Trivium's 'Ascendancy'. Somehow, Faithful Darkness pulls off an astonishing album with no interludes or many progressive techniques in sight. However, melody plays a huge part and indeed it is what I believe is the essence of why I love it. 'Pure Silence' has very soft vocals during the chorus, and once you've got over the same feeling I had of it (LAME) and realised it's actually pretty awesome, you understand how much Faithful Darkness have actually put into this set. Although 'Pure Silence' is pretty much the leading track, two others, 'Alive' and 'Believer' are also sweet songs with some of the best choruses I've EVER heard. Every song on the album I find to be re-listenable to the point of death, maybe making an exception to 'Fields of Yesterday', which I find too thrashy, but will apply more to others' taste. Another track that stands out to me is 'Afterlife', which sounds incredibly like Bodom, give it a listen and you'll see what I mean. The guitar parts, despite not being as positively noticeable as the vocals, are still excellent, with great ripping solos and harsh, thudding riffs.

I can't really find many bad points with this album, only maybe they could have chosen a better opening track, as the opener is often the most important. Not to say that 'Stay Awake' is a bad song, though, it still keeps great standard. All in all a fantastic album, and like I said about Sacrament, keeping modern metal alive and is one of the best metal albums ever I believe.

Dragonforce - Valley of the Damned

Ergh. I grow increasingly tired of Dragonforce these days, now that I actually know more than two things about how good music is made. I have learnt that decent metal/rock is NOT measured by how quickly and stupidly its guitarists can play. Their 'epic' theme is also a bit dry, partly cos no one gives a crap about the lyrics, and partly because they're grown men. Herman Li continues his tiresome spree of hitting 5 notes as quickly as possible to make 11 year olds say 'Wow! This is the best band ever! How come not everyone listens to them?' No, Herman Li is not a guitar hero, which is ironic seeing as Through the Fire and Flames is on the third game. He just knows a few scales, puts them at a really high note and taps them as quickly as his fingers can move. Sam, the other guitarist, sucks more, with his solos which are actually worse than Herman's. They also both are notorious for sitting down AND missing every second note at their live shows.

Yes, Dragonforce are original. But that's only because every other band know that where they're going is meant to be a no-go area, parading around with the illusion of talent. It is a shame indeed that the singer has the ability to hit extremely impressively high notes, but just ends up annoying me with the songs they make. The song to name and shame this album with is Starfire, which is cheesy without being funny. Too cheesy. In fact, it's more cheesy than a Chuck Norris film with melted Brie, Wendsleydale and Edam being spread on top. The only song I could find mildly enjoyable was Disciples of Babylon, as jazz, classical and funk styles are all used for quite a good sounding cocktail. Every other song sounded the same. Unfortunately, in this case, the same means' ALL SHIT'.

So I said it. Herman Li is talentless. It's true. Talent involves decent music writing with the inclusion of more than a couple of notes being played at a supersonic speed. This album only exhibits this further. Don't buy it. If you're going to praise it at all, let it be for the artwork.

Illdisposed - Burn Me Wicked

Whilst Illdisposed certainly give themselves the image of YET another obscure, boringly written and badly recorded foreign death metal band, I was very much surprised to find a definite oasis of talent in the arid desert of irritatingly lame copies of Cannibal Corpse by listening to this album. It also surprised me how much they actually sounded like ordinary death metal, but remained catchy, air-guitarable and in some places pretty epic.

It took me a while before I could actually be bothered to listen to this in depth, but once I had I did notice the metal-making talent that Illdisposed, in particular the lead guitarist, have. Admittedly the opening track, 'Shine Crazy' was more of a deterrent than a song to get me into them, as it was extremely repetitive and quite frankly boring as anything. It is one of the worst songs on the album and so as a message to anyone who wants to give Illdisposed a go, don't let this put you off. The songs that really stand out to me were without a doubt the title track 'Burn Me Wicked' with its epic chorus and solo, 'Case of the Late Pig' which, ignoring the retarded name, had a great catchy riff and good use of electronic sounds, and 'Nothing to Fear... Do It', the high pitched wailing and slamming background riffs of which reminded me much of Maiden. The last track, 'Illdispunk'd' is a piss-take song which is just about travelling to your local area, becoming intoxicated with alcoholic substances and recieving fellatio from your sister. It's a good laugh, using punk style riffs and giving the impression of a fun-loving metal band in the same way that Bodom do.

This album is undoubtedly a good listen, it has pretty brutal vocals, (listen to 'Our Heroin Recess') and pretty sweet guitar parts all round. A few tracks are pretty annoying, but I think the rest make up for it. Worth your money? Depends what you're into; if you're a purist death metaller, yes. If you're like me and can only stand death metal in smaller doses, perhaps not. Nevertheless, claps for Illdisposed for a nicey made set of tracks.