Deadlock - Manifesto

... and it seems Deadlock are back with a vengeance. Anyone who listened to the former album, Wolves, should know that this German melodic death metal band can pull off some seriously good stuff in just about every department, and then add a few more with some unusual avant-garde techniques. Well, only expect more from Manifesto.

That's not to say this beats Wolves; the predecessor of this record was outstandingly good and this suffers, as I say, from 'Sacrament syndrome', but it would be fair to say that Deadlock have a great ear for the strengths of their music and giving the listeners more of it. And indeed there's something for everyone: death growls like punches in the face, forever backed up with the melancholic touch of pitch-perfect female vocals in almost every chorus, pacy chugging complimented by lead guitarist Sebastian Reichl incredible high-noted shredding over the top guaranteed to wow any guitarists. Yet there's still more, as Manifesto adds hardcore techno beats (following up on 'End Begins' from Wolves), classical elements with both interludes and a saxophone solo on 'Fire at Will' and, most strangely of all, an entire hip-hop/crunk section in the song 'Deathrace'. While these definitely add an innovative, original edge to the album, there are some parts where you can't help but wonder if the band has gone a little too far, in particular with the rapping. Melodeath and hip-hop? Perhaps there are some genres which simply shouldn't be mixed.

I can't imagine any fan of Wolves or of any particularly unique death metal disliking this a great deal, and if anything it is a good experience hearing the experimentations of a very talented group of musicians. While it lacks the catchiness of Wolves, Manifesto holds its own and I would strongly recommend giving this a buy, or even better doing it all live.

Gigantic Brain - Invasion Discography

LO! BEHOLD! I HAVE RETURNED! (Temporarily). And what better album to make a ‘grand’ come-back than with the masterpiece known as The Invasion Discography.
Written by none other than the Brain himself, there’s so much back story between me and this album I’d literally have to write a review on the back story (I won’t obviously, but let’s just say I went through a RIDICULOUS amount of trouble to get the album in both physical AND digital form). Now if ya’ll sitting there figuring why all music is bat shit boring, then this is where you stop thinking that, get up, get yourself a copy of this album anyway you can, and shut the fuck up. Possibly the best Cybergrind EVER, next to The Berzerker (they sound nothing alike, to make that clear), the 64 tracks of pure brilliance are enough to keep any Grindcore fan going for some time, and even some not-so-Grindcore-fans might like it.

The pace in the album is forever changing, from the dam slow, to the brain-numbingly fast, courtesy of a drum machine put to good use, obviously accompanied by some weird-ass noises on some sort of synthesizer…thing, simple guitar for some more depth or something along those lines, and some good ol’ classic Grindcore vocals. While it’s not an album for the weak-hearted, (well it IS Grindcore) it’s advisory for people to merely give it a listen for the experience. Even if you HATE this kind of music, you ain’t finding anything else like this around sometime soon, and it would be a good life lesson to you…somehow.

But still, I’m deeming this one of the best albums ever, because of its pure genius and inventiveness, and because it sounds nothing short of fucking awesome. I would advise it to most Grindcore fans and give the album an official ‘kudos’ (If I have it in physical form, it NEEDS that kudos).

Lamb of God - Wrath

Once Lamb of God's career skyrocketed with the undoubtedly DIVINE Sacrament, only good things could be expected in the future career of the Groove Metal gods. However, as good as following records may be, you'll always get the feeling it's just never going to top Sacrament.

The most noticeable change in the new album is Randy's vocals, he apparently had some vocal training between the two albums to stop him tearing his vocal chords and it definitely shows. In some places they sound quite surprisingly out of place, such as the chorus to 'Set to Fail', which can give a certain edge to it at times but might make some listeners think he can't keep up the blistering screams and squeals he used to do. The guitars don't have a complete turnaround and keep the Drop-D groovy feel as Sacrament had (and thrived off) but as much as their technical skill with speed and complexity still blows many bands out of the water, the riffs simply aren't as memorable and catchy as, say, Redneck from Sacrament. There are some, such as Dead Seeds, which are downright repetitive and disappointing. Moshability is definitely still a strong factor, however, and these songs live are a great experience, some of them matching the likes of Walk With Me in Hell.

The album doesn't kill Lamb of God's career by any means and fans will on the whole find this to be a very enjoyable listen, but it seems that Sacrament's extremely high standard was a little too good to stick around. Nonetheless, a worthy buy and one of the best records of 2009, from one of the best bands around at the moment.

Cattle Decapitation - The Harvest Floor

It's true, Cattle Decapitation are another one of those grindcore bands who are getting out a message which you wouldn't usually expect from a bunch of metalheads. In the same way Napalm Death fight for freedom from racism, sexism etc, Cattle Decapitation are militant vegetarians, which at first sounds pretty stupid. Vegetarian grindcore? You won't be laughing by the end of this.

While I would describe most of Decapitation's earlier stuff fairly ordinary grind, albeit with an unusual message (wishing the acts of cruelty we perform to animals to be done on humans), this really brings a new sound to their music. The use of melodic, high pitched wailing, piano interludes and violin harmony brings a sense of sadness, irony and retribution to the obvious morbid themes, and it's incredible how this works with one of the heaviest genres out there.

This isn't overcooked so still expect the usual incredible vocal range from the gullet of Travis Ryan, backed up by guitarist Josh Elmore who now uses his skill with the axe to a greater, more noticeable level.

So if you liked Cattle Decapitation, you should like this unless you're an absolute 'no melody' purist, but I would recommend this even more for people trying to get into grindcore coming from a background of more melodic metal. Though don't expect to be meat-free for life after listening... mmm, bacon...

Five Finger Death Punch - War is the Answer

Death Punch's first album was very promising, with some seriously good riffage and anger being expressed in a effective way without losing any sign of melody, and the follow up to 'Way of the Fist' does not let down the momentum. If anything, Death Punch capitalize on everything that worked and have produced a great new work, War is the Answer.

The album starts off with undoubtedly my favourite track, Dying Breed. Not only does the guitarist (with his awesome name Zoltan) show off his mastery of the axe with the fast paced, thrashy riffs, but pulls off some seriously good solos, and Dying Breed couldn't show this better. The solo is one of my favourite of all time and it won't fail to bring out the air guitarist in you. What's more impressive is that he keeps pulling off technical and melodic solos in just about every song, even the tracks that focus more on the thrashy-ness and less on the melody. The vocals are still up to scratch, keeping their cleans on choruses, and without it the signature sound would probably be gone. The vocalist generally shows some singing talent, he can hit notes well and has a lot of clarity, even after a long verse of thrash scream/shouting. As well as the emotional feel which hits in most choruses, there are a few acoustic elements, in songs such as Far From Home and Crossing Over. This is a style the band can pull off well, mainly due to the vocalist's flexibility. The album continues in a balanced way, exploring speed and the 'mindless' touch necessary for thrash but also tunefulness just at the right times, before finishing with the undeniably kickass duo of Bad Company and the title track War is the Answer

It is worth noting that this album is groove metal, it's not a massive change from the first album's thrash so die-hard fans of the first album don't worry, in fact I think it works with their 'badass' nature which they can do well. Some of their songs, such as 'Bulletproof' are incredibly moshable with a beat-the-crap-out-of-you attitude, and only make the contrast with the softer or acoustic tracks better.

Overall, Five Finger Death Punch have effortlessly improved upon their last album, and haven't let down their fanbase. They know what they do well, and they know how it can always be improved. This is one of the best things I have heard released in 2009 and would recommend to most metal listeners, and even some hard rock fans.

Gigantic Brain - World

This is a horribly late review considering how much I listen to this album...

Gigantic Brain made an impact on the underground grind scene with the mammoth Invasion Discography, and after taking a break he spent a couple of years working on this new project. And by 'new' I really mean it, as this is indeed very different and the Brain took his style in a new direction which focused less on BLAST BEAT CYBER NOISES GURGLING AND INWARD SCREAMS (don't get me wrong, I do love grindcore, especially Gigantic Brain) and had a fresh new ambient touch. This sound was touched upon in the Discography in songs like 'Grizzly Impalement, One by One' and 'My Aftermath', and I thought they mixed with the grind well, so I was happy to see more of it in World, and there is a lot. You will only find about 4 or 5 grind-only songs on this 18-track album, so grindcore purists should probably avoid this.

Many of tracks in fact use only ambient sound, such as 'Bacteria', and are 3 or so minute long tracks of long, sad notes which gives a much more melancholy tone to the album, as if it is trying to make the listener feel like a helpless watcher of the earth's demise, unable to help the feeble human race as it plunges inevitably to its self-destruction. That's not to say the drum-machine has been thrown out the window, extreme blasts of chaotic noise are still featured, with or without vocals, and sometimes even mixed with the ambiance, eg 'The God in the Flames' - arguably one of the best songs on the album. In my opinion this works incredibly well and is Gigantic Brain's sweet spot; I love his grind, I love his brutal vocals, but I love the way he finds a balance between the harshest music possible and his softest.

If I were to find any weak spots in the album, I would say there are a couple of points where you could definitely do with a but more lively sound, metal or not. For example, 'Debris' and 'We Come Together in a Hell' have a beautiful feel to them and add to the apocalyptic/alien life concept, but not only do they sound a little too similar but they also both last at least two minutes longer than they need to. I don't want the ambient sound to go, I just think it could have been used a little more effectively in some tracks.

Apart from that minor point, World is one of the most memorable albums of my lifetime, and would recommend to any metal fans, if only to open their eyes to what can be done without the usual 4/5 band members, riffs, vocals and guitar solo. It contains some of what I believe is the most diverse and creative metal out there, despite John having not a great deal of dexterity with a guitar or a real drum set; this is self-expression at its best.

Gigantic Brain - I Swallow 16 Red Planets (includes Betelgeuse EP)

Ok so Gigantic Brain's last two records (which are somehow NOT reviewed on this site) were amazingly good in their own ways, whether they be blissful, extreme or fittingly nicely between the two. So I had great expectations for his new two records, especially when I realized he was releasing all 32 tracks of them for free.

For starters, the Betelgeuse EP. This is a basically a branch of the new style that was brought in on World, but hugely improved. It is 6 ambient/riff based non-grindcore tracks which are almost entirely instrumental. They are, quite simply, incredible, and vary from hopeful, spacey sounds to doom and melancholy, without a blast beat or scream in sight. A good 25 minute listen will take you to the end of the universe and back, seeing ages pass and galaxies die. Sound ridiculous? Listen to it.

The actual 26 track I Swallow 16 Red Planets is a change from before. While the difference isn't as '90 degrees' as World from the Invasion Discography, don't expect this to be much like anything he's done before. Instead of a concept album which mainly focused on either half-heavy riffs or ambience about our planet and the galaxies beyond, this is more the workings of the delirious and hallucinating mind. It has no constant theme but this doesn't hold it down; this only makes the tracks vary massively from verging-on-funny kind of weird tracks like Pet That Kitty, to a new acoustic style with The Dumbest Thing On Earth, trippy tracks like I Was Molested, and classic Brain from Through His Guilt, The Operation Is Delayed. There is still so much more to this and you will truly feel like you have lost your mind by the end. In a really good way.

The Brain is a veteran at trying new stuff, and even the styles that stay the same hardly get old. This is another great batch of songs to add to the dogpile and shows the Brain is happily going strong and not afraid to express itself in whatever way it feels. I know I'll always be hooked.

God Forbid - Earthsblood

God Forbid are undoubtedly one of my favourite bands ever, and I truly believe they have some of the best metal around within the last 5-6 years. So this album was greatly anticipated, despite it having just about the hardest possible act to follow, with it coming after Constitution of Treason. So how did it turn out...

Well for starters, I'll be blunt by saying this not as good as Constitution of Treason. God Forbid's first albums were very thrashy, and focused more on being brutal than making tuneful, meaningful and unique music. Although this is not the same genre as those albums, I fear that the same habits are making their way back in as while the riffage is great and the drummer is still blasting out the constant rhythms which make verses very moshable, the melodic feel which made Earthsblood's predecessor so listen-able and each song so different and incredible in its own way is a lot less present. Songs such as Walk Alone and Empire of the Gun are the notable exceptions, and in my opinion are the best of the album, but listen to songs such as Shallow and you'll see that could be improved so much by some harmonic guitar solos and Dallas' clean vocals.

It's worth noting that the let-downs of this album mainly only apply to God Forbid's standards. They produce some outstanding stuff and this simply doesn't keep up, and I suppose it suffers the same fate as Wrath by Lamb of God; nothing could possibly top Sacrament just as nothing could top Constitution of Treason. As such, this album is still worth a listen as there is still an amazing sound, I would just say it's not the band fulfilling its potential. Would recommend more to modern thrash fans.

Hurt - Goodbye to the Machine

Ok so everyone (well, actually, pretty much just the people who do the reviews on this site) knows that Vol. I and II by Hurt were fucking amazing, like with some of the best non-metal songs ever, and a couple which are awesome even in the scale of all songs, EVER. This is the most recent album by Hurt and by the general nature of most bands it SHOULD theoretically be getting bad, it doesn't help that they're also starting to appeal to a more mainstream audience. So what's my verdict on it?

Well, to start there is a definite change. Anger, even if expressed in a quiet manner, is a lot less frequent and this can be annoying if it is the incredibly deep stuff you're after. General musical quality, however, is very much present and there is a great mix of acoustic riffs and heavier, bluesy sounds ('1331', 'Got Jealous'). The songs vary a lot so it's not really an album that fades into the background and makes it easy for your attention to wander, maybe except for the last songs. It's a definite move forward for the band, and although the darker songs from their first two records might be missed it's good that they're not an entirely doom-and-gloom band, and seeing as that type of sound can easily become monotonously dry after too many albums this is a refreshing change. 

The new stuff definitely sounds good, and although it's a great listen, the new style is more Alternative Rock than Alternative Metal, and not to be an elitist, but I think though Rock has a lot of potential and is undoubtedly fantastic stuff, it may not have as much of a re-listenable value, and songs are generally a lot less memorable than, say, Talking to God from Vol. II. It's noticeably more mainstream and without sounding too musical-snobbish and out-there, I think originality will almost always come from the personal sound of the artist, instead of being inspired by popular acts.

So Hurt have produced another great album, with a new great sound, but listeners might find themselves fairly tired, if not more than they would with Vol. I and II, after a good 10 or so listening sessions. Songs like 'Got Jealous' might prevail, but maybe Hurt should stick to the darker, emotional stuff they excel at.

Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death

First review in over a year! Exams are over, summer is in so expect more where this came from.

There really aren't many bands that can start out in the 80s, live the life, do the wild gigs, drugs and drink and keep going for over twenty years whilst staying consistently in the highest standard of Heavy Metal quality. Maiden really are rememberable for the brilliant albums they continue to release as if they'll never stop. They also don't seem to have lost 80% of their fans due to style changes and what come across as the appearance of a 'modern metal band', as many classic Heavy Metal bands have. This album, released in 2006 shows that even in the next century Maiden are still fully up to scratch.

What's different in AMOLAD from their older songs is mainly the length (most songs on the album are at least 6 minutes) and the concept-like style which brings the songs together. War is the main theme and different songs look at different ideas related to war: morals, atrocities, religion etc. It's all very philosophical stuff and very powerful for a bunch of beer-drinking long-haired maniacs, but there is a definite feeling of truth behind what is said. Of course it's not just the lyrics that are brilliant, and the recognisable sounds of Dave, Janick and Adrian still sound fantastic as ever, with - if I may use a horribly cliché term - face-melting solos and catchy, fast-paced riffs which just have that Maiden touch. Not much else to say, this is purely the brilliant Iron Maiden that everyone knows, just with particularly cutting lyrics, and heavier, heartstopping riffage.

Not many criticisms to make, only that a few songs are weighed down a bit with some long, repetitive parts which focus on getting a lot of lyrics said rather than the song developing. However in the context of a concept album this doesn't really distract from it being incredible. A musical masterpiece, at least in the top 3 Maiden albums, and I would say a significant symbol of the potential that modern metal has.

KISS - Destroyer

Now I am fully aware that these days, with cheesy charts songs completely eradicated, KISS are widely hated for their incredible corniness and Gene Simmons acting as if he is the sexiest person in the world despite him being old and Jewish (OOHHH RACISM shut up). And, despite me being a big KISS fan, I would really understand someone hating them if they only heard this album. It is a pile of monkey balls.

You could accuse me of hating things that were only normal for the time, and I suppose you would be right and people didn't really cringe at this stuff in the 70s, but to be honest I've heard SO many other things from the 70s that isn't such... shit. I don't mind the song 'God of Thunder', and I actually like 'Detroit Rock City'. But every other song just ends up being nauseatingly soppy and lame. I mean just listen to 'Great Expectations' and tell me you haven't heard such awful lyrics, painful lack of riffage and dreadful use of a tambourine. Yeah, they murder that tambourine. I don't know how 'Beth' ended up being a popular track, I can't describe it better than celebrated nihilism, and for those who don't know what that means, just don't bother listening. You're better off without.

The strange thing is, I actually love a majority of their stuff. The rest is still cheesy, but it rings off nicely with a good retro vibe and has great solos and riffs. They're known to be a great live band and I have 'ALIVE III' (strangely enough they only play ONE song from this album) and it's great. But this is just a letdown and only makes you embarassed to like the band.

I was drawn into buying this album by HMV calling it one of the 'Hundred Albums to Listen to Before You Die'. I would describe it better as an album to HELP you die.

Darkest Hour - Deliver Us

Darkest Hour are a melodic metalcore band (similar to “As I Lay Dying”) and to be quite honest, Henry couldn't of put it any better when he said “So basically, this is awesome”. I've come across a lot of albums, some of which I've found absolutely amazing, but in the end (If you just thought about Linkin Park, shoot yourself), they just bore me after about 3 days. This is such an exception it's unbelievable. I've had this album for almost 2 years now. And it never ceases to strike me as absolutely AMAZING.

Well why is it so amazing? Because the chorus' are fucking catchy and epic, beyond human belief, I mean, I guess I'll state all the songs on it that have awesome chorus'. “Doomsayer”; “Demon”, “A Paradox With Flies”, “An Ethereal Drain”, “Tunguska”, “Fire in the Skies”, “Deliver Us” and “Sanctuary” (although the 'chorus' in Sanctuary is sort of only played once). That leaves 3 songs on the album I haven't mentioned. One is an Interlude, so obviously doesn't have a chorus (but don't worry, the interlude is VERY epic), the other 2 are simply a bit more aggressive songs, and don't really have chorus', although still good songs, they do fall short of the rest of the album, very good instrumentals though (and that's coming from me, the guy who knows NOTHING about instrumentals). But if you don't think the epic chorus' are enough, the harsh vocals are also pretty insane, along with the...clean(er) vocals. Whole album is very dynamic the whole way through, and getting bored while listening to this is just...not possible.

There's really not much else to say really, coming across an album this good is a very rare thing, and I doubt it will happen again any time soon. I actually love this album so much, I feel like naming like naming it the best album of all time....but I'm not going to. Should you buy this album? FUCK YES. It's so worth the money, whether you're into death metal, nu metal, WHATEVER, you don't get much better than this. So buy it. NOW.

Converge - No Heroes

Like all of Converge's albums I've found this to be extremely under rated, however, this one in particular. It's gotten shit from a lot of people, typical emo fags, typical people fags, and strangely enough, a lot of metal heads. They consider it to merely be noise. That, however, is BULLSHIT. Although a few more songs are lot more hectic then even usual Converge, you do get calm moments, and very catchy bits. After all, that is the whole point of mathcore. A very good example of this would be the song “No Heroes”. Having been on Youtube and seen the comments I found on the music video, I can tell you it's depressing how many musically ignorant people there are in the world. But still the song, upon my first listening it was actually kind of boring...it was just kind of...mediocre. BUT, having listened to the whole thing through a couple more times, I can safely say, it's an AMAZING song.

Still taking an even more mathcore based approach to their music, their song lengths range from 58 seconds to 9 minutes and 34 seconds, just as mathcore should be. The short songs are usually the more chaotic songs, while the long songs are a bit repetitive (listen to “Plagues”) however amongst the repetitiveness there's usually some FUCKING EPIC bit. Some people also thought they would hear Jacob Bannon's (lead vocalist) clean vocals again, as they did in Jane Doe. Well. THEY WERE MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT. Personally I think that's a good thing, as it made some songs feel a bit daunting and weirder. However, there's a large chance you wouldn't like his clean vocals, they are a bit....unique after all. However, you may notice a difference in the song “Grim Heart/Black Rose” in the vocals...well that's because they got a guest singer, Jonah Jenkins (the vocalist from the band “Only Living Witness”). Still, the screaming is as good as ever, Jacob Bannon's impossibly monstrous voice has definitely managed to stand the test of that dick, time.

This album is a lot heavier, yet also a lot softer then previous albums (if that makes sense to you), so i'm really quite interested to see which direction they take with their next album. Whether you should buy this or not, is quite an easy question. Although yes, this is DEFINITLY A FUCKING AWESOME ALBUM, it is a very acquired taste, and the likes of mere mortals (people into softer metal, such as Metallica) shouldn't bother, however those who like mathcore, extreme hardcore, or someone who's simply looking for a crazy new album, are definitely in the right place.

Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

Like it or not, Maiden MADE 80s metal. Yes, there was Black Sabbath and Judas Priest that were around and indeed they did inspire Maiden to make what they did/do, but it was Iron Maiden that really hit big and started 'heavy metal', rather than just heavier rock. The two albums preceding the Number of the Beast were both with former singer Paul Di'anno who was good, but didn't have any epic factor to his voice, and he was a druggy anyway. So when Bruce joined in '83 and made Number, things really started getting good.

Three Maiden classics are spawned on this album, the incredibly well-known 'Run to the Hills', the title track 'Number of the Beast' and one of Maiden's best live songs 'Hallowed Be Thy Name'. Not all that surprising that they were accused of being Satanists, really. There probably isn't a single metalhead who hasn't at least heard of Iron Maiden and for the most part, this is the reason. At this point in their career Dave and Adrian were the guitarists, and their harmonic solos and alternating riffs make every song catchy, rememberable and of course air guitar-able. Apart from the three classics, my favourite song would have to be 'The Prisoner', mainly for its awesome chorus, but the riff is pretty sweet as well, and I always find myself skipping straight to this track every time I listen to this album. 'Epic metal' is a term that is often used to describe Maiden's style, and if you listen to 'Children of the Damned', you will see why. I could go on and praise every song on the album in it's own way; each song is unique and is just so good.

One of the best albums ever? Yes. Well, in that case not much to criticise, but I think 'Gangland', which is only available on the remastered edition, could have been a little more fast-paced and exciting, but still is sufficiantly epic and doesn't realy weigh the album down. But that's about it, I just can't say anything bad about Number, it's too good I think.

If you're either a heavy metal maniac or just someone searching for classic albums and for some reason you don't have this album, you suck. It's the true roots of Heavy Metal and even today its greatness is recognisable. Buy it, buy it now.

End of Green - Last Night on Earth

My music taste in general is usually either metal of all eras, or 80s rock, without much middle ground. Modern rock DEFINITELY doesn't appeal to me on the wide scale, but there's something about goth rock band End of Green that I actually like. Nowhere near to say that they are one of my favourite bands, nor that this album is one of the best ever, definitely not. But amidst the dreary chord patterns, the depressing themes and drony vocals (WOAH ALLITERATION) End of Green have something to show.

One thing not to look for in Last Night on Earth however: EXCITEMENT. This is NOT an album you can lie down and listen to and pay full attention to, as if you did you would get EXTREMELY bored. Now I'M AWARE OF ALL THE CAPS I'M USING TODAY. The point about goth rock is that it isn't really stimulating, but can act as good background noise, whatever you're doing. So, if you were in a plain white room with no furniture listening to the 9-minute 'Queen of all My Dreams' or the 11-minute 'Empitness/Lost Control' you would probably want to commit suicide, but if you were doing something productive at the same time it's great. What I really like about the band is the vocalist, his whining isn't annoying like Muse (personal opinion), instead it portrays emotion very effectively and does draw you in. 'Tormented Sundown' is probably the ideal track for showing this.

Liveliness picks up with punky 'Highway 69', but the majority of the album focuses on either deathly or spooky styles. Unfortunately, this sort of stuff is absolute bait for cocks to call us 'emos' for listening to it and asking us why we're not cutting our wrists and summoning Satan. Though, I would like to see more creativity in what they're listening to, Kaiser Chiefs I'm afraid do not make the cut. Anyway, End of Green don't hugely stand out in today's scene, but they're good. Not fantastic, but a good band, worth a listen three or four times maybe, but perhaps not worth you cash unless you're a real goth fan.

Faithful Darkness - In Shadow Lies Utopia

In all honesty, Soilwork really don't appeal to me much. I see them as a good band, but it is mainly the vocals that put me off, and it is thankfully for me that in the drummer's new band, Faithful Darkness, where this is all turned around. In addition to this, their debut album 'In Shadow Lies Utopia' is one of the best metal albums I've ever heard, but that's a minor detail.

What I find truly makes an epic album is interludes, whether they be classical or of a softer nature, such as in Deadlock's 'Wolves' or Trivium's 'Ascendancy'. Somehow, Faithful Darkness pulls off an astonishing album with no interludes or many progressive techniques in sight. However, melody plays a huge part and indeed it is what I believe is the essence of why I love it. 'Pure Silence' has very soft vocals during the chorus, and once you've got over the same feeling I had of it (LAME) and realised it's actually pretty awesome, you understand how much Faithful Darkness have actually put into this set. Although 'Pure Silence' is pretty much the leading track, two others, 'Alive' and 'Believer' are also sweet songs with some of the best choruses I've EVER heard. Every song on the album I find to be re-listenable to the point of death, maybe making an exception to 'Fields of Yesterday', which I find too thrashy, but will apply more to others' taste. Another track that stands out to me is 'Afterlife', which sounds incredibly like Bodom, give it a listen and you'll see what I mean. The guitar parts, despite not being as positively noticeable as the vocals, are still excellent, with great ripping solos and harsh, thudding riffs.

I can't really find many bad points with this album, only maybe they could have chosen a better opening track, as the opener is often the most important. Not to say that 'Stay Awake' is a bad song, though, it still keeps great standard. All in all a fantastic album, and like I said about Sacrament, keeping modern metal alive and is one of the best metal albums ever I believe.

Dragonforce - Valley of the Damned

Ergh. I grow increasingly tired of Dragonforce these days, now that I actually know more than two things about how good music is made. I have learnt that decent metal/rock is NOT measured by how quickly and stupidly its guitarists can play. Their 'epic' theme is also a bit dry, partly cos no one gives a crap about the lyrics, and partly because they're grown men. Herman Li continues his tiresome spree of hitting 5 notes as quickly as possible to make 11 year olds say 'Wow! This is the best band ever! How come not everyone listens to them?' No, Herman Li is not a guitar hero, which is ironic seeing as Through the Fire and Flames is on the third game. He just knows a few scales, puts them at a really high note and taps them as quickly as his fingers can move. Sam, the other guitarist, sucks more, with his solos which are actually worse than Herman's. They also both are notorious for sitting down AND missing every second note at their live shows.

Yes, Dragonforce are original. But that's only because every other band know that where they're going is meant to be a no-go area, parading around with the illusion of talent. It is a shame indeed that the singer has the ability to hit extremely impressively high notes, but just ends up annoying me with the songs they make. The song to name and shame this album with is Starfire, which is cheesy without being funny. Too cheesy. In fact, it's more cheesy than a Chuck Norris film with melted Brie, Wendsleydale and Edam being spread on top. The only song I could find mildly enjoyable was Disciples of Babylon, as jazz, classical and funk styles are all used for quite a good sounding cocktail. Every other song sounded the same. Unfortunately, in this case, the same means' ALL SHIT'.

So I said it. Herman Li is talentless. It's true. Talent involves decent music writing with the inclusion of more than a couple of notes being played at a supersonic speed. This album only exhibits this further. Don't buy it. If you're going to praise it at all, let it be for the artwork.

Illdisposed - Burn Me Wicked

Whilst Illdisposed certainly give themselves the image of YET another obscure, boringly written and badly recorded foreign death metal band, I was very much surprised to find a definite oasis of talent in the arid desert of irritatingly lame copies of Cannibal Corpse by listening to this album. It also surprised me how much they actually sounded like ordinary death metal, but remained catchy, air-guitarable and in some places pretty epic.

It took me a while before I could actually be bothered to listen to this in depth, but once I had I did notice the metal-making talent that Illdisposed, in particular the lead guitarist, have. Admittedly the opening track, 'Shine Crazy' was more of a deterrent than a song to get me into them, as it was extremely repetitive and quite frankly boring as anything. It is one of the worst songs on the album and so as a message to anyone who wants to give Illdisposed a go, don't let this put you off. The songs that really stand out to me were without a doubt the title track 'Burn Me Wicked' with its epic chorus and solo, 'Case of the Late Pig' which, ignoring the retarded name, had a great catchy riff and good use of electronic sounds, and 'Nothing to Fear... Do It', the high pitched wailing and slamming background riffs of which reminded me much of Maiden. The last track, 'Illdispunk'd' is a piss-take song which is just about travelling to your local area, becoming intoxicated with alcoholic substances and recieving fellatio from your sister. It's a good laugh, using punk style riffs and giving the impression of a fun-loving metal band in the same way that Bodom do.

This album is undoubtedly a good listen, it has pretty brutal vocals, (listen to 'Our Heroin Recess') and pretty sweet guitar parts all round. A few tracks are pretty annoying, but I think the rest make up for it. Worth your money? Depends what you're into; if you're a purist death metaller, yes. If you're like me and can only stand death metal in smaller doses, perhaps not. Nevertheless, claps for Illdisposed for a nicey made set of tracks.

Foo Fighters - The Colour And The Shape

Now it's almost my duty as a metal head to proclaim this to be a boiling piece of SHIT. However. I LIKE this shit. I'm not gonna bother giving a big explanation on who Foo Fighters are, as I'm sure you know, and if you don't, FIND OUT YOURSELF YOU LAZY FAGGOT. I believe this is one of their first albums, and it's not bad. At all. The album seems to appeal to the softer side of my music taste, a taste that is rarely apparent (I say as I browse through my Funeral For A Friend songs). Now this is the confusing part. For me to like a soft album, it would have to be pretty fucking depressing, otherwise it's a NO GO. However, this album is so fucking happy in places it makes me want to amputate myself with a rusty toothbrush covered in apricot jam. Yet I still like it?

I've always felt Dave Grohl as a vocalist that could definitely be involved in some metal, though so far he doesn't to of seemed to go near the stuff. Shame really. But I believe that Foo Fighters, in a sense, could be sort of like the soft music for metal heads. If your a metal head, and somehow start craving some soft music because you've turned into a wrist hating, fag loving, straight-hair obsessant little shit, then go listen to Foo Fighters (I'm not saying they're emos...just...yeah...). So I got the album, listened to it the whole way through, and I was very confused. The happiness. The sadness. THE NON-METALNESS. But, for a reason I still just CAN'T explain, I like it. It's like morning wood, you have it, but you just can't explain why. Or, maybe you can. Whatever. Well the album contains a massive 18 songs (still got nothing on Katatonia), with only 2 songs being hit songs. Them being “Monkey Wrench” and “Everlong”, which can be a bit depressing, but the songs in between are basically just interludes, letting your mind wander (about why your listening to this(SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)) before the next hit starts.

So I'm still confused about why I like this. But then again, I'm also confused as to why I like metal. Oh. Wait. Because it's awesome? I can't really give advise on buying this...you would have to have some weird life-changing moment or something to ACTUALLY BUY IT. So really, I've just wasted your time, and made you look at my Foo Fighter rant. Well done.

I apologize for the pussy review, I just came across it and thought “WHY THE SHIT NOT?!”. I'll do some brutal death metal or something next time.

Guns 'N' Roses - Chinese Democracy

It's shit.